This was not my chosen forum in which to clear things up , but my numerous emails to Mr. Reynolds were greeted with “I don’t owe you an apology for calling you a bigot, you owe MeFi an apology for your homophobia”. I attempted to explain that any homophobe worth his salt wouldn’t be caught crossing the street to clear up such an issue with a confirmed homosexual, hoping this would distinguish me from bonafide homophobes out there, but no such luck.

I don’t take such an accusation lightly any more than I would “racist” or “misogynist” and so forth. I have been outspoken about crimes against gays & supporting gay marriage since my first days on MeFi, and am not sure whatever evidence of innocence I am expected to provide. I have friends and family reading this site who I certainly don’t want to mislead into thinking I would deliberately ridicule someone’s sexuality. Sometimes a label like ‘homophobe’ sticks, even when you’re innocent, and you’re judged for it indefinitely. Before that happens, I’d like to clear the issue up by apologizing openly and explaining that I harbor no such bigoted feelings against Mr. Reynolds, digaman, or any other gay MeFites.
posted by dhoyt at 9:22 PM PST on January 4

Homophobia is gay.
posted by naxosaxur at 9:33 PM PST on January 4

Damn dhoyt. Stop being such a drama queen.
posted by xmutex at 9:35 PM PST on January 4

dhoyt-

For what it's worth, I'm with you on this one. Until the other thread, I never associated the phrase with homosexuals in any way; it never even occurred to me. In my own case, when I hear the phrase, I think of my niece (shown trying on my wife's wedding gown when she was 12) who aptly fits the description. If I use the phrase with a guy, I tend to say "Drama King" like they did in Shrek 2, but even if I heard someone call a guy a "Drama Queen", I wouldn't associate it with homosexuality. If anything, I would simply think the guy was acting overly dramatic, typical of what my niece often does.
posted by Doohickie at 9:39 PM PST on January 4

dhoyt: I applaud your sensitivity to AlexReynolds, but as for myself would chalk it up to hypersensitivity on his part.
As one of the HomoMefi members, I do not consider, perceive or believe "drama queen" is a slur directed solely at the gay community. This term has made it from the gay subculture into modern vernacular and can be found in use on many platforms of communication.

Overly dramatic people = drama queen in the Manual I got from the kind folks who gave me the official toaster.
posted by sillygit at 9:40 PM PST on January 4

i remember, as a wee lad, when i thought 'fairies wear boots' was about gays. imagine my surprise when i learned it had nothing at all to do with gays. go figure.

actually, i had no idea whatsoever that the term 'drama queen' had any gay connotations. does this mean we can't use it anymore?
posted by poopy at 9:43 PM PST on January 4

I would like to have everyone know that when someone says "donut" I take it very personally and it can be quite traumatic for me.

So, in the future, out of a concern for my personal well-being, I would like all MeFi users to stop using this hotly derogatory term "donut". You may, instead, use "fried breaded pastry" or somesuch.

I thank you in advance for being caring individuals.
posted by xmutex at 9:43 PM PST on January 4

God, I can't stand DONUTS!
posted by Doohickie at 9:45 PM PST on January 4

:(
posted by xmutex at 9:46 PM PST on January 4

When I hear Drama Queen I think the Queen of Hearts. I don't think she's a gay icon, but given all the weird bunnies and floating cats in that book, who really knows.
posted by dness2 at 9:46 PM PST on January 4

If UrbanDictionary is any judge, AlexReynolds needs to get his head out of his ass long enough to realize that his little corner of Pennsylvania does not dictate the rules of slang usage to the internets.

Also, he's a damn newbie who talks too much. So you really shouldn't care if he wants to flip out over nothing.
posted by Galvatron at 9:48 PM PST on January 4

From Dictionary.com:
1 entry found for drama queen.
Main Entry: drama queen
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: any person who overreacts to a minor problem or situation.

I'm just sayin'.
posted by FlamingBore at 9:49 PM PST on January 4

AlexReynolds is a goddamn drama queen.
posted by keswick at 9:50 PM PST on January 4

The phrase may have at one time been a slur towards gay men, but it has become such a part of common usage that while the phrase may not be wholy removed from its homosexual connotations, there is a whole nother meaning to the word that has nothing to do with being gay, or with gay being bad.

Like you can call a man a bitch now and no one would think to call you a misogynist.
posted by 23skidoo at 9:52 PM PST on January 4

Fucking bullshit, drama queen's not solely a gay thing, that's stupid to think and dumber to get all up in arms about it. Especially since dhoyt went well, well, well out of his way to try and make amends.

Do people get pissed off in real life and then come here to look for someone to get into a fight with?

The place has become utterly rampant with whining lately.

On preview, what keswick said.
posted by fenriq at 9:53 PM PST on January 4

Oh yeah, that's a good point. I think AlexReynolds is a little bitch too.
posted by keswick at 9:53 PM PST on January 4

I debated whether to respond privately or not. I know going into this that any response I'll give will get trashed out of context.

Apologies are not usually used as a platform to rationalize.

So, thanks, I guess.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:54 PM PST on January 4

dhoyt, even if AlexReynolds was being over-sensitive it's important to make you stance on these issues clear and apologizing. That's part of what it means to be in a community, I think. [/applaud]

sillygit, holy shit did you really get a toaster when you came out of The Closet?
posted by nixerman at 9:55 PM PST on January 4

Especially since dhoyt went well, well, well out of his way to try and make amends.

Actually he sent about ten emails asking for the same goddamn explanation over again. So fenriq, can I suggest you not comment about how dhoyt was the victim here?
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:56 PM PST on January 4

i like rubbing donuts all over my body. especially the ones with jelly on the inside. they're all squishy.
posted by poopy at 9:57 PM PST on January 4

What quonsar and keswick have said so far is making it damn clear what kind of "apology" this really isn't. Wow.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:58 PM PST on January 4

Alex: Serious question for you: Is there a victim here?
posted by Doohickie at 10:01 PM PST on January 4

I have a bad feeling about this.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:01 PM PST on January 4

I think that if you truly appreciate the apology of a person who want to give you one, it shouldn't degrade that apology if other people think that the apology was unwarranted.
posted by 23skidoo at 10:01 PM PST on January 4

Alex- quonsar's and keswick's assholiness have no bearing on dhoyt's sincerity. Please don't associate them with dhoyt.

On Preview- what 23 skidoo said.
posted by Doohickie at 10:02 PM PST on January 4

So you really shouldn't care if he wants to flip out over nothing.

Actually it was more a remark on dhoyt's thread about how, if he's going to complain about other's comments, he should expect complaints about his own. But expecting people to read carefully is too much to expect.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:03 PM PST on January 4

stavros: You forgot to use your <HanSolo> and </HanSolo> tags...
posted by Doohickie at 10:03 PM PST on January 4

Seriously, dhoyt, using this thread to get back at AlexReynolds was childish. You didn't think you had to apologize (and I agree); so you should have just let the whole thing drop.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:04 PM PST on January 4

Alex: Serious question for you: Is there a victim here?

I don't care anymore. I stopped caring after the fifth email from dhoyt asking me to apologize to him. But of course that wasn't mentioned. Go to town, folks.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:05 PM PST on January 4

My advice to BOTH dhoyt and AlexReynolds:

The first thing about gettin' out of a hole is to know when to stop diggin'.

I think it might be best if we all just let this drop.

Peace.
posted by Doohickie at 10:07 PM PST on January 4

To both of you:

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the only true path to sincerity is offering a hand in friendship. One of you needs to cut off, and extend, that hand.
posted by interrobang at 10:09 PM PST on January 4

One of you needs to cut off, and extend, that hand.

Smartest comment, so far.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:10 PM PST on January 4

Also, he's a damn newbie who talks too much. So you really shouldn't care if he wants to flip out over nothing.

Oh, and Galvatron, most of my "talks too much" has been answers on AskMeFi, lately. So fuck off with your "newbie" shit.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:12 PM PST on January 4

You can suggest whatever you like. Until you chimed in, I had dhoyt's side. Did you ever explain it to him? Or did you just ignore his request to understand his "transgression"?

I wasn't calling dhoyt the victim, I don't think there is one. Drama-queen isn't a strictly gay perjorative, sorry if you thought it was one but its not. And calling you one in particular, out of the many, many drama queens at MeFi, is kind of funny. Especially coming from dhoyt.
posted by fenriq at 10:12 PM PST on January 4

Did you ever explain it to him?

Yes, twice by email and several times through the aforementioned thread.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:18 PM PST on January 4

dhoyt, using this thread to get back at AlexReynolds was childish.

You're jumping to some serious conclusions. He blindsided me with wild accusations in the original thread. I took it to email in order to spare everyone the silly details. It didn't work. I apologized publically at his request. I assumed he would do the same. So here we are.

you should have just let the whole thing drop.

Being called something like a 'bigot' is not something I let drop, just as being called a 'faggot' might be something over which a gay man might (understandably) lose his cool. I'll say again, I apologize if anyone misread my comment as homophobic.
posted by dhoyt at 10:19 PM PST on January 4

This thread is not an apology. It is simply to mock AlexReynolds.

And of that, I approve.
posted by BradNelson at 10:19 PM PST on January 4

/applause
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:21 PM PST on January 4

.
posted by Doohickie at 10:27 PM PST on January 4

*clap STUMP, clap STUMP, clap STUMP*
posted by interrobang at 10:27 PM PST on January 4

*grabs popcorn and a seat*
posted by casarkos at 10:33 PM PST on January 4

Holy shit.

I'm a big fucking homo, and I have never thought of the term 'drama queen' as bigoted or even directly related to gay men. FFS, the first time I ever heard the term used was to refer to a girl!

dhoyt, you didn't do anything wrong. You're clearly not a bigot.

Alex, seriously, have a martini, smoke a joint, and calm down. 'Drama queen,' as has been shown repeatedly in this thread, isn't a homophobic epithet. Save your energy for idiots who use the word 'gay' to mean 'bad,' for example.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:34 PM PST on January 4

This thread needs to apologize to me.
posted by jefbla at 10:35 PM PST on January 4

Alex, seriously, have a martini, smoke a joint, and calm down.

If you had context about what was sent privately to me, and what triggered all of this, I am really not the person who needs to "calm down".
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:40 PM PST on January 4

Why keep anything private now? This is some sort of Xanga fight gone HUGE, let's have the posts of the e-mails! Then we can have some sort of reality show phone poll on who is in the wrong!

if I were not an insomniac...
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:42 PM PST on January 4

and what triggered all of this...

from what i saw (and correct me if i'm wrong), dhoyt used the words 'drama queenery' in a sentence and you went all kung-fu on his ass.
posted by poopy at 10:48 PM PST on January 4

not that there's anything wrong with that.
posted by poopy at 10:49 PM PST on January 4

I don't care anymore. I stopped caring after the fifth email from dhoyt asking me to apologize to him. But of course that wasn't mentioned. Go to town, folks.

So did you apologize to him as he deserves or not?
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 10:53 PM PST on January 4

yawn.
posted by LouReedsSon at 10:53 PM PST on January 4

MetaFilter: Kung-fu Drama Queenery.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:56 PM PST on January 4

i like rubbing drama queens all over my body. especially the ones with jelly on the inside. they're all squishy.
posted by chicobangs at 10:57 PM PST on January 4

and you went all kung-fu on his ass

OMG YOU ARE ASIANOPHOBIC
posted by 23skidoo at 11:01 PM PST on January 4

Actually, Alex, all I see--and yes, I went through the threads in question--is you freaking out on him for something, again, which has been clearly established to not belong to the gay community, and equally clearly was not intended to be homophobic in nature.

If one or the other of those conditions did not obtain, a certain amount of upset would be understandable.

But they do, and it's not.

And yes, Alex, you do need to calm down. You called him, quote, a "fucking homophobe," over a term which is not homophobic.

Believe me, Alex, I understand your frustration. I'm gay too; I've grown up with a lot of the same bigoted bullshit that you have. But this just wasn't, okay?

Stop wasting your energy, and fight against something that is actually homophobic.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:03 PM PST on January 4

So did you apologize to him as he deserves or not?

No, not yet, and neither you nor most people on this thread have the perspective to say whether or not he deserves an apology, frankly.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:05 PM PST on January 4

neither you nor most people on this thread have the perspective to say whether or not he deserves an apology, frankly

This MAY be true, as I don't know what happened in email. But I'm assuming (may be wrong) that the emails all came AFTER your original freakout. And no matter what happened afterward, if that was in fact the initiating point, you owe a huge apology for going off on a paranoid loony persecution rant.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 11:08 PM PST on January 4

A repost of my comments from an earlier discussion:

My earlier comment -

"Regarding the term "drama queen" ... it has a long history of being used in reference to gay men.

Many gay men - like me - have co-opted numerous pejorative words (i.e. fag, queer) intended to demean us and have sought to turn them on their heads. For example, the chant "We're here, we're queer, get used to it" is an example of the co-opting of a vitriolic term. In this instance, gay men in the late 80's/early 90's drafted the term "queer" and used it as a vocal refrain during ACT-UP! (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) and other demonstrations to shock society at large to pay attention and to address a rising/raging health crisis. Since then "queer" has become part of our popular lexicon (i.e. "Queer As Folk"' "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy", etc.). While this particular term has evolved to having additional nuance, it still can be used in contexts and settings as a demeaning, hurtful epithet ("Fucking queer."). The person who uses the term and the situation become extremely relevant in determining the intent of the word's use.

"Drama Queen" is used quite frequently by gay men in a humorous fashion ("Drama Queen: The Gay Man's Guide to an Uncomplicated Life"). Even so, if the term is used with malicious intent, it still carries the punch of an insult.

Much of the discussion above is reminiscent of that which took place after Harvard law professor Randall Kennedy's book "Nigger - The Strange Career of a Troublesome Word" was published in 2002."
posted by ericb at 11:09 PM PST on January 4

I do agree with - 23skidoo : "The phrase may have at one time been a slur towards gay men, but it has become such a part of common usage that while the phrase may not be wholy removed from its homosexual connotations, there is a whole nother meaning to the word that has nothing to do with being gay, or with gay being bad. Like you can call a man a bitch now and no one would think to call you a misogynist."

In the end - it all comes down to "intent" of the term's usage and its application and implication.
posted by ericb at 11:16 PM PST on January 4

This MAY be true, as I don't know what happened in email. But I'm assuming (may be wrong) that the emails all came AFTER your original freakout. And no matter what happened afterward, if that was in fact the initiating point, you owe a huge apology for going off on a paranoid loony persecution rant.

Bingo. You hit the nail on the head right there.

And frankly, Alex, I think many of us here do have the fucking perspective to tell you that you need to pull your overinflated head OUT of your ass for a change, and apologize for freaking out for no good reason.

On preview:

Eric, yes, I'm familiar too with reclaiming words and so forth... but the fact is, 'drama queen' had passed into public lexicon by 1991--which is when I first heard it, when I was twelve. From one girl to another. Make of that what you will.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:17 PM PST on January 4

dirtynumbangelboy - hence my acknowledgement of 23skidoo's perspective.
posted by ericb at 11:21 PM PST on January 4

And frankly, Alex, I think many of us here do have the fucking perspective to tell you that you need to pull your overinflated head OUT of your ass for a change, and apologize for freaking out for no good reason.

IANAP, but once the head becomes inflated, that's when it's the *most difficult* to remove.
posted by interrobang at 11:23 PM PST on January 4

I personally take no offense with the terms "fag", "queer", "drama queen", etc. - so long as they are not used in a vitrolic, pejorative fashion - since I see them as having been "neutralized" (for the most part) by their usage in the "popular lexicon" over the past decade.

Nonetheless, these same words still have the potential to express contempt; to intend insult and harm when used with malice.
posted by ericb at 11:27 PM PST on January 4

If dhoyt offered a genuine apology -- if it was genuine -- then I apologize for calling him a bigot. Fair enough?
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:30 PM PST on January 4

Nonetheless, these same words still have the potential to express contempt; to intend insult and harm when used with malice.

That about sums it up. When called on it by AlexReynolds and amberglow, dhoyt just had to apologize and clarify that this is, indeed, not what he intended. This is the sensible thing to do. This is the way people in a community behave.

It's good to see the pile on again AlexReynolds though. It just kind of drives the point home.
posted by nixerman at 11:36 PM PST on January 4

and clarify that this is, indeed, not what he intended

Which was done, repeatedly, and clearly.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 11:45 PM PST on January 4

Which was done, repeatedly, and clearly.

On this thread, finally.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:48 PM PST on January 4

If dhoyt offered a genuine apology -- if it was genuine -- then I apologize for calling him a bigot. Fair enough?

No, not fair enough.

You attacked him for something he did not do, which apparently you simply are incapable of understanding.

He deserves a simple, unqualified apology from you. None of this mealymouthed "if it was genuine" bullshit.

Suck it up, be a man, and actually apologize, Alex. That means understanding that you did something wrong.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:56 PM PST on January 4

"God bless us, everyone!" - Tiny Tim. ["A Christmas Carol", Charles Dickens].
posted by ericb at 12:00 AM PST on January 5

He deserves a simple, unqualified apology from you.

No comment!
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:01 AM PST on January 5

dhoyt, this cocksucking light in the loafers fucking faggot thinks you're okay in his book. Now kiss me.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:46 AM PST on January 5

*sigh*
posted by AlexReynolds at 12:47 AM PST on January 5

The Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter: You mean... beyond pacifism?
posted by geekyguy at 1:51 AM PST on January 5

AlexReynolds, I disagree with dhoyt on just about every issue. But you owe him a big apology, you fucking drama queen.
posted by salmacis at 2:03 AM PST on January 5

Nixerman: "When called on it by AlexReynolds and amberglow, dhoyt just had to apologize and clarify that this is, indeed, not what he intended."

John: "Which was done, repeatedly, and clearly."

Alex: "On this thread, finally."

Whuh? I was there in the original thread. It was a constant stream of "That word is not related to homosexuality", "I'm not using this word for anything related to homosexuality", "There is no homosexual content implied in the use of that word."

Unless the part you're focussing on is the "apologizing" part, not the "clarify that this is, indeed, not what he intended." In which case, you're right, he finally apologized to you, even though he did nothing wrong in most of our opinions, because you think he did something wrong.

Speaking of which:

Alex: "I know going into this that any response I'll give will get trashed out of context."

I'd like you to apologize to all of the low-income caucasian people in this thread for the blatant insult in this sentence.
posted by bugbread at 2:05 AM PST on January 5

Reading this thread, AlexReynolds alludes to seemingly inappropriate emails sent to him by dhoyt. This struck me as odd, because not having read the original threat, I thought Alex merely pointed out that he considered "drama queen" an anti-gay slur. Well, in actuality, Alex wrote: Fuck you, dhoyt, you fucking homophobe.

Alex, you were either trolling, or you have some kind of emotional disorder. I think you were trolling. Pretty clever, actually. Not many trolls actually get their victim to apologize to them.
posted by Doug at 2:17 AM PST on January 5

If dhoyt offered a genuine apology -- if it was genuine -- then I apologize for calling him a bigot. Fair enough?

In private, dhoyt may have been very different, but from what I gather, he's a gay friendly person who was deeply and personally troubled by your attacks. However, what is available to those of us not privy to the private exchange is startlingly clear. Look, I'm sorry you were offended, but you've blown every single chance to let this small misunderstanding go. Instead, you've turned this into a public debate in which many will judge you as the aggressor.

You've probably seen people on MeFi defend the actions of some asshat who stepped over the line by saying, "Grow a thicker skin." I know it doesn't sound sincere or even useful, but take it from someone who, in real life, is quite sensitive and emotional and not afraid of showing it. It is better, in my experience, to not react at all and be hurt privately than retaliating against an attacker that doesn't exist.

You're reaction strikes me remarkably similar to the popular misunderstanding of the word "niggardly". In fact, there was a relatively well publicized event with a caucasian aid to the African American mayor of Washington, D. C. who used the word in a private staff meeting. If you're not familiar with it, here's the best one sentence description I could find of it:

Didn’t anyone else find it strangely hypocritical when, back in 1999, a white aide to Washington, D.C., Mayor David Howard was forced to resign for using the word “niggardly” -- this, in a city that steadfastly roots for a football team that uses an overt racial slur for its nickname? (1)

posted by sequential at 2:36 AM PST on January 5

"Alex wrote: 'Fuck you, dhoyt, you fucking homophobe.'

Alex, you were either trolling..."

No, that's his usual rhetorical style. AlexReynolds is dogmatic, aggreived, and frothing at the mouth. He's just a swell guy.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:53 AM PST on January 5

Ahhh. AlexReynolds is Welsh. That explains everything. Boyo.
posted by seanyboy at 3:28 AM PST on January 5

So I guess the Walt Disney movie Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is totally homophobic then.
posted by driveler at 4:38 AM PST on January 5

Ahhh. AlexReynolds is Welsh. That explains everything.

It doesn't explain why he uses so many vowels.
posted by yerfatma at 4:44 AM PST on January 5

*sigh*

You know what Alex sweetie? That sigh was just a little too dramatic for my tastes. J'accuse!

Methinks the lady doth protest...a little too much. Get a thicker skin, dude, and move on from this. You've already embarassed yourself in public. What could be more drama-queeny than that?
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:47 AM PST on January 5

So I guess the Walt Disney movie Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is totally homophobic then.

Keep in mind, that movie was underwritten by Phred Phelps and was originally titled "Confessions of a Fag that God Hates". So, yeah, I think it's safe to say it was a $15,000,000 attack on homosexuals that was converted to a stealth attack.
posted by bugbread at 5:26 AM PST on January 5

I don't care anymore.

then why won't you stop talking?
posted by glenwood at 5:40 AM PST on January 5

"Drama queen" may once have been a pejorative directed at gays, but I doubt it. "Queen" (or "quean" in older usages: go figure) was a pejorative, but when you start to add modifiers, it becomes more descriptive. We have, for example, rice queens, taco queens, show queens, opera queens (my boyfriend has stopped complaining when I call him that), and a host of others. A guy I know once called me a "foreplay queen," but aside from being TMI, that was, I think, a compliment.

Anyway, the initial usages of "drama queen" most likely came from within the gay community and were directed by the gays to the gays, but now I mostly use the term to mildly tease my (straight) daughter when she's being too much of a teenager.

I do think, however, that dhoyt owes all of us an apology for "drama-queen." That hyphen is way, way out of line.
posted by anapestic at 5:44 AM PST on January 5

I don't know, anapestic. With the hyphen it looks more like a verb.

A verb I'm now going to drama-queen all over some conversation or other at least twice today.

Spite. It lasts a long, long time.
posted by chicobangs at 5:51 AM PST on January 5

We have, for example, rice queens, taco queens, show queens, opera queens

Let's not forget Dairy Queen! Yumm!

This has got to be the dumbest thread... sigh.
posted by LouReedsSon at 5:59 AM PST on January 5

We have, for example, rice queens, taco queens, show queens, opera queens

And Ellery Queen.
posted by unreason at 6:04 AM PST on January 5

This has got to be the dumbest thread... sigh.
posted by LouReedsSon at 5:59 AM PST on January 5

Oh, I don't know. Have you read the Kid Rock thread?
posted by pmurray63 at 6:21 AM PST on January 5

Incidentally, does this mean that Alex is going to stop calling heterosexuals "breeders"?
posted by unreason at 6:37 AM PST on January 5

What quonsar and keswick have said so far is making it damn clear what kind of "apology" this really isn't. Wow.

So, you're judging the veracity of dhoyt's apology by what two other users have said. That makes tons of sense.

You know just because someone dosen't like you, dosen't make them a homophobe, but you seem quite happy to use anti-gay prejudice as a way to excuse yourself from looking at your part in this. You got enough chips on your shoulder to build a fucking treehouse.
posted by jonmc at 6:39 AM PST on January 5

A guy I know once called me a "foreplay queen," but aside from being TMI, that was, I think, a compliment.


Mmmm. Hi, have we met? :D


Incidentally, does this mean that Alex is going to stop calling heterosexuals "breeders"?

Oh dear. Alex, you've just lost any credibility you had been managing to hold onto.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:45 AM PST on January 5

Dammit, I missed quonsar's comment before it was axed.

/lumberjack bigot.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:48 AM PST on January 5

The conflict in this thread is not between gay people and straight people, as dirtynumbangelboy and my down-home running mate WolfDaddy have indicated.

It's between those who can take a joke, and those who can't.
posted by jonmc at 6:51 AM PST on January 5

and clarify that this is, indeed, not what he intended -Alex

-Which was done, repeatedly, and clearly.- JKF

On this thread, finally.-Alex


---

Alex, my comment even before it was explained explicitly in numerous emails was:

Uh....digaman is gay?

Wouldn't I have had to know that prior to 'insulting' him?

I use 'drama queen' as a jokey insult with female friends all the time when they're on a particularly ridiculous tear about something. Funny no one's ever called me a homophobe.

AlexReynolds, I really don't know what to say to you. You've branded me something so far off the mark I really have no ability to respond. You've totally misunderstood me and seem to care less about discovering the truth.

Wouldn't this support my explanation, Alex? Seems you are bending the truth about as far as it will go.

In all my time on MeFi, and in all the verbal scrapes I've been in with various folks just as ornery as me, when all is said and done I've never thought of someone as being truly impossible. You're the first to thoroughly embody that concept, Alex. Having seen this thread for the first time just now, I think it sums everything up.

Thanks to dirtynumbangelboy for hitting the nail on the head so skillfully, no matter how stubborn & vexing this particular nail seems to be.
posted by dhoyt at 6:51 AM PST on January 5

Uh, guys?
posted by agregoli at 6:55 AM PST on January 5

Wow...That was a great find unreason. I completely agree with dirtynumbangelboy. Alex, your outrage is now completely undermined by your own name-calling. And I'm very much against the use of the term drama queen.
posted by BlueTrain at 6:57 AM PST on January 5

I do think, however, that dhoyt owes all of us an apology for "drama-queen." That hyphen is way, way out of line.

I knew in my heart that all of this world's problems—war, famine, hatred, disease—come back to bad punctuation. Now I know for sure.
posted by goatdog at 6:58 AM PST on January 5

Whoa--I've never even read that thread! I had no idea this was already discussed. I'm still shocked anyone but Alex thought I was making a 'slur' against gay men.

dhoyt's homophobic comment directed at digaman's sexuality was WAY WAY out of line

Amber, say it ain't so.
posted by dhoyt at 7:05 AM PST on January 5

You're welcome, dhoyt, though I think that other people--jonmc in particular--have summed everything up better than I have.

Look, Alex... you're wrong. It's been rather conclusively proven you're wrong. dhoyt even made it clear, in the original fucking thread that you were wrong. At that point, the mature person says "Alright, my bad, I'm sorry." They don't say "I'm sorry if what he said was genuine," or "I'm sorry, but..." or anything like that.

You just say: "dhoyt, I'm very sorry I called you a bigot and a homophobe, when that is clearly not the case."

That's it. Nothing more.


Oh, and amberglow... *sigh* You're smarter than that!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:07 AM PST on January 5

I know I'm late to the party on this one, but just had to share. Our veterinarian called our puppy a "drama queen" when she was getting her shots.
posted by MrZero at 7:18 AM PST on January 5

Save the drama for your mama.
posted by ColdChef at 7:26 AM PST on January 5

This would not be out of place on ljdrama.org.

What a sad day. Of course, the irony of a 100 comment thread - dominated by two people - bitching and moaning about the term "drama queen" is sweet, indeed.
posted by absalom at 7:34 AM PST on January 5

Can we just agree that there is way too much hyperbolic drama queenery in this very thread?
posted by xmutex at 8:21 AM PST on January 5

Helpful Hint #27:

This whole thread is a lot more exciting if you picture dhoyt wearing a Burger King Crown, yellow suspenders and pajama bottoms with built-in footies while waving an oozing doughnut and Alex wearing a Las Vegas Show Girl hat with a clear plastic raincoat, red cummerbund, swim trunks and wooden clogs while waving a frozen fish.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:25 AM PST on January 5

[stabs self in chest, bleeds profusely, looks around to see if anyone has noticed]
posted by orange swan at 8:32 AM PST on January 5

stop that, orange swan, you're getting blood all over the nice, clean floor.
posted by jonmc at 8:34 AM PST on January 5

'Recently I came out and admitted I was a homosexual so now I can say the word "fag". On television, they usually don't allow "fag," but since I'm gay, it's okay. And with the new approval of the word "shit," I can now say: "Hey there, shitty shitty fag fag, shitty shitty fag fag, how do you do? Hey there, shitty shitty fag fag, shitty shitty fag fag, how do you do?"'
posted by darukaru at 8:36 AM PST on January 5

I think it's safe to say that I hate all of you and wish nothing but horrible things for your respective futures.
posted by Danelope at 8:41 AM PST on January 5

This whole thread is a lot more exciting if you picture dhoyt wearing a Burger King Crown, yellow suspenders and pajama bottoms with built-in footies while waving an oozing doughnut and Alex wearing a Las Vegas Show Girl hat with a clear plastic raincoat, red cummerbund, swim trunks and wooden clogs while waving a frozen fish.

Wasn't that the setup for Richard Foreman's last play?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:43 AM PST on January 5

This thread is awesome.

I'm still waiting for Alex's apology.
posted by mkultra at 8:54 AM PST on January 5

Incidentally, does this mean that Alex is going to stop calling heterosexuals "breeders"?

If it's now okay to throw "drama queen" at gay people, my use of "breeders" is just fine.
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:56 AM PST on January 5

As a fucking breeder, I didn't feel I had any standing to say this on my own, but since all sorts of gay MeFites apparently agree with me, here we go: AlexReynolds, you've been a complete jerk throughout this whole idiotic episode, and dhoyt, you have nothing to apologize for, you've been a mensch throughout

On preview: Alex, you're not just a jerk, you're an illogical jerk.
posted by languagehat at 8:57 AM PST on January 5

I'm still waiting for Alex's apology.

What did I do to you? Sorry?
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:58 AM PST on January 5

He means an apology to dhoyt, Alex.
posted by unreason at 9:01 AM PST on January 5

Can't I get a little respect?

*cringes as BK crown falls down over one eye & strained-too-far suspenders pop off with a comical BOING! sound; Carol Channing enters the scene and knees me in the groin*

Pray tell, what is that donut oozing? It ain't glaze.
posted by dhoyt at 9:02 AM PST on January 5

Alex, have you been reading this thread? dhoyt's not throwing "drama queen" at gay people, he's throwing it at YOU. Big difference.

Here's the difference between his use of drama queen and your use of breeders: his was a comment on your specific reaction, having nothing to do with your sexuality. Yours was a generalization implying "you straight people are all crazy". See the difference?
posted by chundo at 9:03 AM PST on January 5

He means an apology to dhoyt, Alex.

I already apologized to dhoyt.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:05 AM PST on January 5

dhoyt's not throwing "drama queen" at gay people, he's throwing it at YOU. Big difference.

He actually threw the epithet at someone else. But thanks for piling on, anyway.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:07 AM PST on January 5

Er, make that digaman's specific reaction. Jeez, I'm having trouble figuring out why you got involved in this at all now.
posted by chundo at 9:08 AM PST on January 5

I'm having trouble figuring out why you got involved in this at all now.

To focus attention on himself. He succeeded nicely. Bravo!
posted by jonmc at 9:14 AM PST on January 5

Thanks for piling on, jonmc. Your comment is lucid and well-informed.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:15 AM PST on January 5

If dhoyt offered a genuine apology -- if it was genuine -- then I apologize for calling him a bigot.

That's not a real apology, Alex. It's not even logical. It's essentially saying, "if dhoyt apologized for being bigoted, then I'll apologize for calling him a bigot." If you're acknowledging that he's not a bigot, then why does he need to apologize? A real apology is, "I called you a bigot, and I was wrong. I see that you're not bigoted. I'm sorry."
posted by unreason at 9:17 AM PST on January 5

If it's now okay to throw "drama queen" at gay people, my use of "breeders" is just fine.

That is quite petty. Almost as petty as the apology.

on preview, what unreason said. Petty.
posted by sciurus at 9:20 AM PST on January 5

If you're acknowledging that he's not a bigot, then why does he need to apologize?

Start at the very top of this thread, to get your answer.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:23 AM PST on January 5

Thanks for piling on, jonmc. Your comment is lucid and well-informed.

Actually, since I've been present since the beginning of this shit, actually it is well-informed thank you very much. You (and to be fair dhoyt, as well) have strung out this pointless little bitchfest over a relatively unimportant event waaaay too long. The only lucid conclusion I can come to, is that you enjoy the attention. Your general behavior does nothing to dissuade me from that conclusion.

Of course, you'll chalk my opinion up to homohobia, you're built in security against having to consider the eternal question "Am I just being an asshole?"
posted by jonmc at 9:24 AM PST on January 5

Jesus, this thread makes me want to slit my wrists with my pen cap.
posted by u.n. owen at 9:30 AM PST on January 5

Alright, Alex, since you're not understanding when we use pretty words, I'm going to be blunt:

You're a fucking idiot. You're fucking wrong, and you fucking well owe dhoyt a fucking apology.

You are the fucking drama queen here--and yes, thank you, I'm a fucking cocksucker too, so I can fucking say it as much as I fucking want, you little fucking victimized fucking faggot.

Drama queen, as the most up to date dictionary (urbandictionary.com; a lexicon of of words the way people actually use them) shows, is not fucking homophobic, you fucking moron.

Calling someone a fucking breeder, however, is very fucking clearly bigoted, you fucking bigot.

Now, kindly grow the fuck up and be a man; apologize to dhoyt, without any of your fucking whiny fucking bullshit.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:31 AM PST on January 5

Okay, Alex ... you're not a drama queen.

You're a theatrical matriarch.

Jeesus.

and what are we running for, jonmc? I need the right shoes ... I have a wide assortment ranging from fuzzy bunny slippers to red Joan Crawford "come fuck me" pumps, and I need to be informed to make the correct choice
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:31 AM PST on January 5

dirtynumbangelboy: by the way, I still disagree with you about the whole gay = bad as homophobia bit, but I thought you should know at the least that I feel bad about participating in the huge pileon against you over it. In fact, more than a few people present said they felt bad about it after you left.

I still disagree, but I am sorry about the way I treated you - and a few other people who were present have expressed similar thoughts.

Just thought you should know that.
posted by Ryvar at 9:34 AM PST on January 5

actually wear the leather thigh-highs, I love you in those. I as usual will be wearing the orthopedic white bucks.
posted by jonmc at 9:34 AM PST on January 5

Thank you for the sentiment, Ryvar.

That said, you're still wrong. Replace 'gay' with 'black' or 'asian' or what-have-you, and the comparison becomes clear.

Let's not derail this thread, however.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:36 AM PST on January 5

You're a fucking idiot. You're fucking wrong, and you fucking well owe dhoyt a fucking apology.

I received my apology and gave one in return. Whether or not you think dhoyt needed to apologize or whether my apology is an apology is beside the point.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:38 AM PST on January 5

Indeed.
posted by Ryvar at 9:38 AM PST on January 5

red Joan Crawford "come fuck me" pumps

Derek and Clive take a journey to the center of Joan Crawford.

Note: Stupendously Offensive
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:38 AM PST on January 5

As a gay guy who also meets the definition of 'breeder', can I take offence at both parties? It makes it easier to become a 'victim' than to figure out who is to blame here....

Sincerely though, folks, taking offence at immature insults, whether in the eye of the beholder or intentionally hurled in anger, is just a waste of time and energy. Yes, I know in the past I've objected to flaming & trolling, here & elsewhere: I see that as a stage I had to go through. Jerks will be jerks, the thin-skinned remain thin-skinned.

Film at 11.
posted by dash_slot- at 9:38 AM PST on January 5

You called that an apology, Alex? How old are you, anyway, 12?
You didn't deserve an apology. That's the end of it. You didn't deserve one in the first place, because of the reasons already covered: drama queen is not a homophobic insult.

Your use of 'breeders' further denied you any right to an apology.

Grow the fuck up, you fucking faggot. People like you are why I am sick to fucking death of goddamned gay people.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:41 AM PST on January 5

This just might be the most unbelievable Meta thread I've ever read. If there is one thing that annoys me more than anything else around here, it's over-"thinking", over-sensitive PC pussies. Oh, and gay men. God how I hate gay men... scared of 'em frankly.
posted by Witty at 9:43 AM PST on January 5

Hi dirtynumbangelboy! Can I meet you in the back of the surplus shop in Falling Down sometime? :-D
posted by shepd at 9:45 AM PST on January 5

"You breeders crack me up" in a thread about phantom pregnancies? What an asswipe.
posted by dabitch at 9:47 AM PST on January 5

Wow. I think my yearly haitus my be forthcoming.
posted by adampsyche at 9:47 AM PST on January 5

You're a theatrical matriarch.

Oh, this one's a keeper.
posted by GeekAnimator at 9:48 AM PST on January 5

You didn't deserve an apology. That's the end of it.

I'm afraid you are wrong.

Dhoyt asked in six emails that I apologize to him for calling him a bigot. I explained twice via private email why he did not deserve an apology, and finally asked him to apologize publically after I was sick and tired of my inbox filling up with spam. Dhoyt finally apologized, and I did in turn.

These are boring details, but please keep piling on, especailly when you don't have the background.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:50 AM PST on January 5

dirtynumb...., see now, what you just wrote is bigoted and stupid and ugly and racist.

If you meant it in an over the top manner then you you should perhaps note it. Otherwise maybe you should keep your racism to yourself?
posted by fenriq at 9:50 AM PST on January 5

God forbid we derail this thread!
posted by xmutex at 9:52 AM PST on January 5

Alex, six personal emails from dhoyt isn't spam, those are six attempts to try and resolve the issue without taking it into the public eye. You didn't feel like meeting him in the middle, hence the thread here and you feeling like people are attacking you.

And it was ten emails earlier in the thread.
posted by fenriq at 9:52 AM PST on January 5

If you meant it in an over the top manner then you you should perhaps note it. Otherwise maybe you should keep your racism to yourself?

Your comments are lucid, well-informed and relevant to this discussion.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:54 AM PST on January 5

Alex, dude, you're a good guy, your heart's in the right place, and other such introductory terms of respect and fellowship and stuff. But, in the name of sweet rimming Jesus, will you please stop acting like such an insufferable poof. dhoyt's not the first person you've taken a swing at for percieved homophobia, when they're actually on your side. They are not the enemy. They friend.

There's this story I know that might be instructive. There's this boy, see, and he does this thing where he cries "wolf"...
posted by flashboy at 9:55 AM PST on January 5

These are boring details, but please keep piling on, especailly when you don't have the background.

You have been giving us the background this entire thread... and I STILL thing you're wrong, hypocritical, overly sensitive and stubborn... not that there's anything wrong with that.
posted by Witty at 9:55 AM PST on January 5

*blinks at fenriq*

Er, pardon? Did you miss the part where I'm a big ass-pirate too? I can call him a faggot as much as I want to-- that's not bigotry, that's years of dealing with these prissy little fucks. Also... where's the racism?


I explained twice via private email why he did not deserve an apology,

Except that he did. As he FUCKING CLEARLY FUCKING INDICATED, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, he wasn't being bigoted or homophobic, and indeed, of twenty-odd thousand people here (not to mention several dictionaries), you seem to be the only one who thinks it was.

Jesus Christ, how stupid are you?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:56 AM PST on January 5

You didn't feel like meeting him in the middle

Really? You have copies of my email?

And it was ten emails earlier in the thread.

You are correct; I checked my mailbox afterwards and it was six, or maybe seven. One email was joined together with another.
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:56 AM PST on January 5

Those damned Siamese email. Get you every time.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:00 AM PST on January 5

Okay. I got my apology, I made mine in return. The rest of the comments seem to be about throwing insults my way. Have fun, jackals, and good luck.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:01 AM PST on January 5

Please kill this thread now, before I agree with Witty in public.

And that wolf story is totally sanitized. See, most boys--and I use that term to many anyone over 18 but younger than me which is a huge number of people--used to cry "WolfDaddy". But then wrong, hypocritical, overly sensitive and stubborn people got all up in arms about it and, well, you know...

Also, quonsar, remember the horse cock thread? I think this is the gay equivalent of that. We just need someone to get banned for a week and we're golden showers.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:01 AM PST on January 5

Okay. I got my apology, I made mine in return.

*hides before dirtynumbangelboy comes back*
posted by chundo at 10:04 AM PST on January 5

No, Alex, it's about trying to make you understand your behaviour-- and how you have no right to talk about homophobic insults if you're going to call straight people 'breeders.'

Sadly, you appear to lack the will or capacity to understand this. When you grow up, you'll hopefully look back on this and cringe.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:05 AM PST on January 5

this thread has made my life of sociopathic, drug and alcohol-addled bitterness worth every moment.
posted by quonsar at 10:05 AM PST on January 5

And that's why we love you, quonsypoos.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:07 AM PST on January 5

W/R/T "meeting in the middle", here are some bits from Alex's responses:

• "I refuse to apologize to a bigot. The time for tolerating this ignorance is over, as far as I'm concerned."

• "You did not qualify your insult with context. You still haven't. As far as I'm concerned my comments stand."

• "I'm not apologizing to you. Make whatever assumptions you want."

• "Ironically, you're the one who needs to issue the apology, to be honest."

Remind me again where this "Middle" is, and is there still a chance we can "meet" there like adults?
posted by dhoyt at 10:07 AM PST on January 5

Dhoyt does deserve an unqualified apology from you. You are the one that started this shitfest based on your over-sensitivity to an imagined insult.

Dhoyt does not owe you an apology of any kind, because he is not responsible for having started this shitfest and the insult to him was not imagined.

You have not apologized appropriately, and indeed what you have claim is an apology isn't an apology of any sort at all.

I suggest that if you wish to repair the damage you have done to your standing in this community, you offer an unqualified apology for having accused dhoyt of being a homophobe and bigot and for having started this shitfest.

Here, let me write the apology for you, and you can cut and paste it:

I, AlexReynolds, apologize profusely to dhoyt for having unfairly accusing him of homophobia and bigotry, and I apologize to the MeFi community for having created this shitfest by having imagined insult where there was none. I'm so sorry, everyone, and I resolve to be more sensible in the future.

Of course, you won't apologize, because as you have proven time and against throughout this shitfest, you can't admit to making a mistake.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:08 AM PST on January 5

And that is why we love you, fishypoos!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:10 AM PST on January 5

I think you guys might want to turn down the outrage a wee bit. I don't know how many levels into meta we are with this thread, but before you put another layer of tar and feathers on Alex, remember that he didn't start this thread, and that his initial call for an apology came in an e-mail exchange. Asking privately for a public apology is not a public act. Dhoyt could have just let the matter drop. Nobody thought he was a homophobe in the first place, except possibly Alex, who's obviously not going to change his opinion based on additional insults from whomever.

Additionally, there was a lot of piling on even before Alex made an appearance in this thread, so his defensiveness, while regrettable, is understandable.
posted by anapestic at 10:13 AM PST on January 5

Dhoyt, if nothing else comes from this thread, at least you can rest easy that all of MeFi except AlexReynolds never thought you were a bigot. That's gotta be worth something.
posted by chundo at 10:13 AM PST on January 5

this thread has made my life of sociopathic, drug and alcohol-addled bitterness worth every moment.

I'm adhering to a strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber throughout.

dirtynumbangelboy, you said you were going to stop above, so please, stop. no matter how right you may or may not be, you're not winning any more converts with big bold cursing.
posted by adampsyche at 10:13 AM PST on January 5

This is quite the cat fight.
posted by orange clock at 10:15 AM PST on January 5

The thing is that AlexReynolds doesn't seem to know how to engage with people in any way other than flinging insults.

When he said that stupid thing about "breeders" on the phantom pregnancy thread, I responded with some jovial teasing and a link to Gay Parents magazine. I felt somewhat qualified to engage with that, seeing as my eggs now have lovely gay fathers, whereas my heterosexual husband and I have chosen not to have children.

I now realize I should have said "Fuck you, you fucking heterophobe!"

See, in the world according to AlexReynolds, he is a shining beacon of light and righteousness, not an ill-tempered jerk. He doesn't have to try to educate people or explain why he's unhappy about something or disagrees with a point of view--the sheer moral power of his rage should carry all before it.

That other thread made me so unhappy I wanted to cry. I wish some of the gay men who have chimed in here had commented on that thread, because I found it really depressing being lectured about my latent homophobia by amberglow.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:15 AM PST on January 5

I came away from the previous thread thinking that dhoyt knew that digaman is gay and, thus, in my mind his use of "drama queen" in that context is at least suspicious. And I disagree with others who think that its origin wasn't closely associated with the gay "queen" stereotype—but I do agree that it's since become ecumenical and many people don't associate the term with homosexuality at all. That's about all the defense I can muster for AlexReynolds as his behavior, as I've already said, has seemed to me to be almost wholly combative and theatrically aggrieved since he arrived here. Also, I fucking hate the fucking term "breeders". While superficially accurate, I think there's no doubt the term is intended to be, and is used as, a pejorative.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:16 AM PST on January 5

*blinks at fenriq*

Er, pardon? Did you miss the part where I'm a big ass-pirate too? I can call him a faggot as much as I want to-- that's not bigotry, that's years of dealing with these prissy little fucks. Also... where's the racism?

dirtynumbbangelboy, save that comment of yours and read it in a few years and see if you feel the same way. It is incredibly racist. You're making a negative generalization about all homosexuals based on your personal experience with a small sample, that is racism.

And I'm glad that your life now has meaning again, quonsar! I'm gonna go sniff industrial solvents and see if I can burn these brain cells right out so I don't have to waste brain space on this cluster fuck of a thread. What's your favorite?
posted by fenriq at 10:16 AM PST on January 5

I would like to apologize for participating in this thread. It was petty of me and I should know better. Will you forgive me?
posted by sciurus at 10:17 AM PST on January 5

This is the worst thread I've ever seen on MetaTalk.

Why is this grandstanding drama queenery still here?? This is NOT, in ANY way, what Meta is intended to be for. Shame on you all.
posted by rushmc at 10:18 AM PST on January 5

Oh wait dirtynumbbangelboy, since you're gay its okay to insult and denigrate other people who happen to be of the same sexual persuasion? Sorry, that's utter bullshit.
posted by fenriq at 10:18 AM PST on January 5

we're golden showers

Someone reverse-engineer a Cockney Rhyming Slang etymology for that so I can use it in mixed company. Also, have this wrapped up by 9. Alias returns tonight and I don't want to have to decide. Maybe I'll just tape this. Pony request: I want a Tivo feature so I get saved copies of threads like this. With the deleted comments. Too Hot for Mefee! That'd be worth $5.
posted by yerfatma at 10:19 AM PST on January 5

Thank you, dhoyt, for quoting my private email to you out of context, and without my consent.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:21 AM PST on January 5

"dirtynumbbangelboy, save that comment of yours and read it in a few years and see if you feel the same way. It is incredibly racist. You're making a negative generalization about all homosexuals based on your personal experience with a small sample, that is racism."—fenriq

Homosexuality is a race? I didn't get that memo.

Bigotry. It's a useful word. Check it out.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:22 AM PST on January 5

And, yeah, posting private email is widely regarded as a Bad Thing To Do. But repeatedly mentioning contentious private correspondence, as AlexReynolds has done, is at the least indiscreet.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:24 AM PST on January 5

we're golden showers

Someone reverse-engineer a Cockney Rhyming Slang etymology for that so I can use it in mixed company.

Austin Powers?

And Alex, just give it a fucking rest already. At least dhoyt has owned up to his part is this stupid fucking fiasco, which is more than I see you doing.
posted by jonmc at 10:24 AM PST on January 5

Pre-emptive 'unban everyone who may or may not possibly will have been banned in this thread' post.
posted by darukaru at 10:25 AM PST on January 5

I don't know. One more outburst from dirtynumbangelboy and I just might cross the fucking fuck on over.

This pile of horseburgers-slash-theatrical matriarchy, while thoroughly entertaining, redefines inane. It seems Alex has successfully baited dhoyt into a fifteen-round slap fight, and it's going to go the distance.

Despite evidence showing that dhoyt has committed no crime at all, Alex wins this fight based on the fact that there are almost 200 posts in this stringy gray turd, and despite the fact that he keeps saying he'll go away, he doesn't. And won't, frankly.

He drama-queens as hard as he can because (a) he's obviously awfully good at it, and (b) he apparently loves the abuse.

So flog away, people. Let it all out.
posted by chicobangs at 10:26 AM PST on January 5

And Alex, just give it a fucking rest already. At least dhoyt has owned up to his part is this stupid fucking fiasco, which is more than I see you doing.

I am sorry to MeFi for not asking dhoyt to apologize privately.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:30 AM PST on January 5

I spend an awful lot of time worrying about how my mother once told me that nobody ever thought on their deathbed, "I wish I'd spent more time on the computer."

It made me feel that I might be throwing my life away on meaningless drivel.

I'd like to thank Metafilter for demonstrating that my mother was completely and utterly wrong - this thread is the kind of thing that, one fine Christmas morning when all my grandchildren are seated around me and gazing up at me with innocent wondering eyes - I'll be able to proudly relate to them. I was there, I experienced it while it was happening, and I commented in it.

I love you all.
posted by Ryvar at 10:31 AM PST on January 5

Late to the party.

...

This party sucks.
posted by scarabic at 10:33 AM PST on January 5

...into a fifteen-round slap fight...

BIGOT!

Can I start a new MeTa thread now?
posted by chundo at 10:34 AM PST on January 5

I received my apology and gave one in return. Whether or not you think dhoyt needed to apologize or whether my apology is an apology is beside the point.

If the only thing in this thread that's important is that you feel you gave an apology, (and not how other people are interpreting it), then you should be able to see that the only thing that's important in the other thread is that dhoyt didn't use the phrase as a derogatory slur, regardless of how anyone else might have interpreted it.

If you believe that the intent of the speaker is the most important thing, then rushing to accuse someone before you know of his intent will probably result in alot of unnecessary trouble.
posted by 23skidoo at 10:36 AM PST on January 5

Enough with the victim mentality, already.
posted by AlexReynolds at 1:29 PM CST on December 24
posted by me3dia at 10:39 AM PST on January 5

me3dia: Out of context and irrelevant to this discussion, but not surprising. Thanks.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:40 AM PST on January 5

If the only thing in this thread that's important is that you feel you gave an apology, (and not how other people are interpreting it), then you should be able to see that the only thing that's important in the other thread is that dhoyt didn't use the phrase as a derogatory slur, regardless of how anyone else might have interpreted it.

Which is why I issued an apology in return.
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:42 AM PST on January 5

Oh, but me3dia! AlexReynolds is absolutely right in his crusades against breeders and homophobes (even accidental ones) and obese people. Don't you know that he is helping people learn and grow by being a hostile fuck, just as having uncomfortable and even dangerous toilets is going to help morbidly obese people lose weight?
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:43 AM PST on January 5

You wanna go, chundo? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya wanna go? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

Do ya?
posted by chicobangs at 10:44 AM PST on January 5

I am sorry to MeFi for not asking dhoyt to apologize privately.

Wow. I wasn't even this thick-headed in my first (second and third) call-out(s).
posted by Witty at 10:46 AM PST on January 5

for you alex:
And there's always a place for the angry young man
With his fist in the air and his head in the sand
He's never been able to learn from mistakes
He can't understand why his heart always breaks
His honor is pure, and his courage as well
he's fair and he's true, and he's boring as hell
And he'll go to his grave as an angry old man.
posted by jonmc at 10:46 AM PST on January 5

Out of context and irrelevant to this discussion, but not surprising.

If you can't see the irony, there's no hope for you.
posted by me3dia at 10:49 AM PST on January 5

Don't you know that he is helping people learn and grow by being a hostile fuck

Sure, you're not hostile at all. My response was entirely hate-filled to you, wasn't it?
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:50 AM PST on January 5

If you can't see the irony, there's no hope for you.

What's ironic? Your use of the word "victim" to try to nail me to wall for a point I never made?
posted by AlexReynolds at 10:52 AM PST on January 5

Jesus Christ! Die, thread, die!

And yeah, the irony of me adding a comment is not lost on me.
posted by Specklet at 11:00 AM PST on January 5

AlexReynolds, how sweet of you to accuse me of being hostile for quoting your own weirdly hostile comment back to you as part of a lengthier and more thoughtful response to what I saw was a reflexively hostile comment by you. Yep, it's all about my hostility!

You really, really need to climb down off your high horse for a second. Of course it's possible that we're all just meanyheads who don't understand your high moral purpose, but isn't it at least equally possible that you're alienating people with your confrontational attitudes and doing more harm than good?
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:02 AM PST on January 5

What's ironic? Your use of the word "victim" to try to nail me to wall for a point I never made?

No, your use of the word victim... nevermind. I don't have the energy.
posted by me3dia at 11:02 AM PST on January 5

Which is why I issued an apology in return.

You're like the energizer bunny. Stick to your guns, buddy! We'll come around!

I dunno, Specklet. This thread is the most entertainment my office has seen in weeks.
posted by chundo at 11:03 AM PST on January 5

Of course it's possible that we're all just meanyheads who don't understand your high moral purpose, but isn't it at least equally possible that you're alienating people with your confrontational attitudes and doing more harm than good?

Sidhedevil, he just hasn't figured out that it's not his politics that piss us off but his personality. It's not that he's gay, it's that he's a shrill, self-righteous, pompous, self-absorbed, narcissistic bore.
posted by jonmc at 11:06 AM PST on January 5

In order to prevent this thread from ever happening again, but to me instead of dhoyt, I make this noble promise:

I, Unreason, hereby promise that if I am ever angry or unpleasant to AlexReynolds, it will not be because he is homosexual, but because I find him extremely rude and annoying. Were he heterosexual, I promise that I would look upon him with exactly the same low level of respect.
posted by unreason at 11:06 AM PST on January 5

MetaTalk: Drama QueensTheatrical Monarchs and their Stringy Grey Turds
posted by romakimmy at 11:07 AM PST on January 5

Alex, would you just climax already so we can all go to sleep?
posted by chicobangs at 11:08 AM PST on January 5

I'd like a cigarette first, chicobangs honey.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:11 AM PST on January 5

You're in luck, pal. I got two left.

I am thinking of England as hard as I can here.
posted by chicobangs at 11:12 AM PST on January 5

I've taken to assuming that any thread of 100+ comments is probably some sort of embarrassing clusterfuck.

I'm usually right.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:42 PM PST on December 22

Truer words were never written.
posted by theFlyingSquirrel at 11:13 AM PST on January 5

I like pancakes. Who wants pancakes?
posted by Jeremy at 11:15 AM PST on January 5

I should, of course, point out that I personally am a meanyhead who doesn't understand AR's high moral purpose, insults others' innocent gums, is completely biased against Republicans/Democrats, wants special treatment for Christianity, is anti-Christian, and rarely Closes Cover Before Striking.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:16 AM PST on January 5

A short stack with boisenberry and some bacon, please.
posted by sciurus at 11:17 AM PST on January 5

If you can't see the irony, there's no hope for you.

"Irony is wasted on the ignorant."

it's not his politics that piss us off but his personality

I don't really want to add to the pile on but, I agree, he comes off as having a major (like the size of Manhatten) chip on his shoulder.
posted by squeak at 11:17 AM PST on January 5

Alex, would you just climax already so we can all go to sleep?

I'm not the one throwing out insults left and right, but apparently I'm still the one with the chip on my shoulder. Its funny that someone brought up the idea of irony. Not many seem to know what it means. Feel free to stop at any time, folks.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:19 AM PST on January 5

dirtynumbangelboy, you said you were going to stop above, so please, stop.

Sorry, where did I say that? Or are you misinterpreting my 'that's the end of it' statement?

And, yeah, posting private email is widely regarded as a Bad Thing To Do. But repeatedly mentioning contentious private correspondence, as AlexReynolds has done, is at the least indiscreet.

Granted... but once one starts mentioning that private correspondence as a reason to buttress their own position, they're hardly in any position to complain when the other party publishes the correspondence, thus proving AlexReynolds wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Sidhedevil, he just hasn't figured out that it's not his politics that piss us off but his personality. It's not that he's gay, it's that he's a shrill, self-righteous, pompous, self-absorbed, narcissistic bore.

<3 br>


Oh, and I just feel the need to say that I adore Sidhedevil.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:20 AM PST on January 5

I like pancakes. Who wants pancakes?

None for me, thanks. Pips packed me Scooter Pies.
posted by jonmc at 11:21 AM PST on January 5

"I'm not the one throwing out insults left and right,"

Because 'fucking homophobe'--which started all this--isn't an insult?

Don't be so disingenuous, you brainless twit. Go back to listening to Britney Spears and wishing you could afford a Louis Vuitton wallet.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:22 AM PST on January 5

Tacky as it may be to reprint private correspondence, I feel little guilt at this point. It seems the only concrete way to document all the outright lying that is going on.

Just now I've rec'd notice from Mr. Reynolds that I am "a dick". I emailed him back suggesting he didn't have a leg to stand on with regard to dicks. Then, as if to sum up this entire mess in one singular anecdote, he wrote back asking me to please never email him again. "Hands over ears. Lalalala. I'm not listening." That whole bit.

Speaking of anecdotes, I should mention that one of the things inspiring this whole argument was after seeing Alex's original accusations, a MeFi-reading co-worker belted out, "Hey, what's this about you being homophobic?" in front of a gay co-worker who I've recently been building a nice friendship with. I saw the look in his eye, and even after explaining myself you could tell I'd stepped in something. So I emailed Alex to ask WTF is up with the 'homophobia' comments. Amazing how these things snowball.
posted by dhoyt at 11:24 AM PST on January 5

None for me, thanks. Pips packed me Scooter Pies.

Oooh! Those look tasty!
posted by Jeremy at 11:24 AM PST on January 5

I say we hang him, then we tattoo him, and then we kill him.
posted by jonmc at 11:25 AM PST on January 5

Granted... but once one starts mentioning that private correspondence as a reason to buttress their own position, they're hardly in any position to complain when the other party publishes the correspondence, thus proving AlexReynolds wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

What, like: "...my numerous emails to Mr. Reynolds were greeted with..."?

Fuck you, dude, you're ignorant, and dhoyt is an asshole for posting small pieces of private correspondence out of context and without permission. Don't rationalize it.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:26 AM PST on January 5

This Thread is Ridiculous and has Been Closed to Further Comments
_______________________________________________
posted by exlotuseater at 11:26 AM PST on January 5

Speaking of anecdotes, I should mention that one of the things inspiring this whole argument was after seeing Alex's original accusations, a MeFi-reading co-worker belted out, "Hey, what's this about you being homophobic?" in front of a gay co-worker who I've recently been building a nice friendship with. I saw the look in his eye, and even after explaining myself you could tell I'd stepped in something. So I emailed Alex to ask WTF is up with the 'homophobia' comments. Amazing how these things snowball.

And that's precisely the fucking problem with this twit. He's fucked up (temporarily, I hope) a friendship of yours.


Fuck you, dude, you're ignorant,

Sorry, which one of us called someone who clearly isn't, a homophobe? I'm fairly certain it wasn't me.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:27 AM PST on January 5

Then, as if to sum up this entire mess in one singular anecdote, he wrote back asking me to please never email him again.

Don't bother apologizing, asshole.
posted by AlexReynolds at 11:27 AM PST on January 5

Isn't he cute when he gets all excited and angry like that?
posted by jonmc at 11:29 AM PST on January 5

The day I resolved only to say things to people on the Internet that I'd be equally willing to say to them in person was a great day. Suddenly, my life became so much easier, so much happier.
posted by Prospero at 11:30 AM PST on January 5

Whoa. This thread could have 300 posts. That would be sweet.
posted by Jeremy at 11:31 AM PST on January 5

Not as sweet as a Scooter Pie.
posted by jonmc at 11:31 AM PST on January 5

oh oh oh! I've figured it out!

AlexReynolds is a sock-puppet account set up by dhoyt to troll all of MeFi!!!11!!eleven!! Tehy r teh same person!

ROTFLcopter!
posted by sciurus at 11:33 AM PST on January 5

Then, as if to sum up this entire mess in one singular anecdote, he wrote back asking me to please never email him again.

Don't bother apologizing, asshole.


...Which signifies one full lap of the spectrum.

You can reread this thread from the top now, like a piano reel.
posted by chicobangs at 11:33 AM PST on January 5

or a roll of toilet paper.
posted by jonmc at 11:35 AM PST on January 5

posted by jonmc at 11:36 AM PST on January 5

This is like a trainwreck in slowmotion screeching the tune of Ravels Boléro.. It will never end....
posted by dabitch at 11:37 AM PST on January 5

A haiku:

I enjoy pancakes
Pancakes are quite delicious
This thread must die now.
posted by unreason at 11:40 AM PST on January 5

In order to make this a legitimate flame war, please type in all caps. Thank you.
posted by exlotuseater at 11:41 AM PST on January 5

The day I resolved only to say things to people on the Internet that I'd be equally willing to say to them in person was a great day. Suddenly, my life became so much easier, so much happier.

That's the fun part. I would say such things in person, if they were as deserved as they are here :D

Anyway.

I want waffles.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:41 AM PST on January 5

That's not a real haiku, unreason, you haikuphobe!
posted by chicobangs at 11:42 AM PST on January 5

I think chicobangs wins this one.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:43 AM PST on January 5

That's not a real haiku, unreason, you haikuphobe!

I demand an apology, you anti-haikuite!
posted by unreason at 11:43 AM PST on January 5

NO! I demand an apology!

Or you can choke of a bucket of my mangled meter, five (or seven, whichever) nature-themed syllables at a time, you -- you hallmarker!
posted by chicobangs at 11:47 AM PST on January 5

I'm sorry. That was over the line.

Over all three lines, actually.
posted by chicobangs at 11:48 AM PST on January 5

okay. chicobangs has apologized. unreason, do you forgive him?
posted by sciurus at 11:49 AM PST on January 5

  WTFWTF
WTFCLOUDWTF
      WTF

posted by rajbot at 11:52 AM PST on January 5

Well, If chicobangs offered a genuine apology for criticizing my awesome haiku know how -- if it was genuine -- then I apologize for calling him an anti-haikuite.
posted by unreason at 11:53 AM PST on January 5

testingtestingpagewideningisaninternettrollonmanymessageboardsandforumsforexampleslashdotthisformoftrollcausesawebpagetowidentoaridiculouswidthtothepointwhereonecannotreadthetextwithoutconstantlyscrollingleftandrightwikipediaitselfappearstobeaffectedtopagewideningatleastonthesafariandmozillawebbrowsersthefirsttruepagewideningwasanaccidentsomeonepostedaunixdirectorylistingthatlookedsomethinglikethisfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonfoobardirbinetcandonandonanowinfamoustrollbythenameofklerckusedthislittletricktomaketrollssuchasilikewidepagesdontyoulikewidepagesandonandonilikewidepagesdontyoulikewidepagesandonandonilikewidepagesdontyoulikewidepagesandonandonilikewidepagesdontyoulikewidepagesandonandonilikewidepagesdontyoulikewidepagesandonandonslashdotimplementedafixforthispagewideningbutonlyafteraconsiderabletimehadpassedonepossiblereasonforthedelaywasthattheexploitonlyaffectedinternetexplorerandnetscapebrowserswhichareproprietaryandslashdotsupportsopensourcefreesoftwarespecificallyinternetexplorerswordwrapcodewouldnotbreakalinebeforeawordstartingwithaperiodandwouldplaceallthewordsononelineandthuswidenthepagethealternativeproprietarybrowseroperawasnotaffectedthisexploitreliesonthefactthatwhenproperlyimplementedsomecharactersprohibitlinebreakbeforethemaspertheunicodespecification1afixtothisproblemalsoexistsforphpbb2lessthanaweeklateranewwideningtrollappearedhttpwwweverythinghfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgabcooieiabdcdjsvbkeldfogjhiyeeejkagclmieooionoepdkabcdefmfighyiqxjklmonopqrosoyotuvwxoyqwertyuiovsdfghjklqewiuznmbjadzmcloeuirquakndsflksjdflkasfskdfasiewurznmcvweroiqewrnamdnzcvuowieramnfkasdfhzuxcihskjrnakjzkjcxbviusayrkajsfzxncvizudyrithatwidenerwasalsofixedbyafilterthatautomaticallyinsertsaspaceintopostingsafteracertainnumberofconsecutivecharactersthisisasourceofconstantfrustrationtouserswhopostworkingurlsorsegmentsofcodethatareautomaticallybrokenwhentheyhitsubmit(howeverthisfilterdoesnotaffectthecontentsofslashdotslinktags;becausetheydonotappearonscreentheycannotwidenthepagethefilterdoesnottouchthemandtheylinkproperly)recentlyanewexploithasbeendiscoveredknownasthewwwidenerwhichstillworkedinjuly2004wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
posted by brownpau at 11:54 AM PST on January 5

Netcraft confirms: Page Widening is Dying
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:55 AM PST on January 5

You can reread this thread from the top now, like a piano reel.

Not like a Virginia Reel? *pouts*
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:56 AM PST on January 5

I'm not homophobic, but the problem with homosexuals is they rarely have daughters to decapitate.

Rajbot: Does "cloud" count as a seasonal reference these days? Tsk.
posted by fvw at 11:57 AM PST on January 5

Like falling snowflake
Sad drama queen melts in flame
Flung poo on grey page
posted by theFlyingSquirrel at 12:00 PM PST on January 5

This thread needs a theme song.
posted by Jeremy at 12:04 PM PST on January 5

posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:05 PM PST on January 5

Umm... actually many homosexuals are also 'breeders', and half roughly half boy-children and half girl-children. just like everybody else.
posted by raedyn at 12:06 PM PST on January 5

oo00oo what a ky00000t widdle bunny wunny!
posted by kamylyon at 12:08 PM PST on January 5

dirtynumbangelboy: here.
posted by adampsyche at 12:11 PM PST on January 5

Has anyone ever read The Butter Battle Book?
posted by adampsyche at 12:13 PM PST on January 5

IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
IS THIS THING ON!? IS THIS THING ON!?
posted by shepd at 12:17 PM PST on January 5

Like, OMFG!
posted by esch at 12:18 PM PST on January 5

any time now matt
posted by kamylyon at 12:19 PM PST on January 5

hey guys i can run an ircd now
posted by angry modem at 12:21 PM PST on January 5

.
posted by Stynxno at 12:22 PM PST on January 5

Awwwww. I can't stay mad at youse.

If everyone grabs a cock, we can kill off this bucket in no time!
posted by chicobangs at 12:24 PM PST on January 5

are they Extra Crispy or Original Recipe?
posted by jonmc at 12:26 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:29 PM PST on January 5

What's brown and sounds like a bell?


This thread!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:30 PM PST on January 5

This is the best thread I've ever read on the gray.

And I'm still waiting on Alex to apologize for using the word "trash", that asshole.
posted by bugbread at 12:30 PM PST on January 5

*wipes away tears*

I STILL ¡HATE! ALL OF YOU.
posted by eyeballkid at 12:30 PM PST on January 5

Subscribe!!1!!!1!!
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:31 PM PST on January 5

*sticks dick in the mashed potatoes*
posted by chundo at 12:32 PM PST on January 5

SCUBA NINJAS!


posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:33 PM PST on January 5

I STILL ¡HATE! ALL OF YOU.

iHate? Will that be unveiled at MacWorld?
posted by bedhead at 12:43 PM PST on January 5

Once again, chundo wins.
posted by Specklet at 12:43 PM PST on January 5

so, rusty DID buy metafilter, didn't he? ... this place is just like k5 today ...
posted by pyramid termite at 12:46 PM PST on January 5

Oooh! Someone say something to me, anything at all, and I'll freak out and be offended. I want to be part of this too!
posted by orange swan at 12:53 PM PST on January 5

Adam... the 'that's it, nothing more' was in reference to what Drama Queen should have said, not to me.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:53 PM PST on January 5

orange swan is a dirty bird
posted by terrapin at 12:54 PM PST on January 5

We really need a member called Drama Queen. I'd set up another account, but I'll need that $5 (plus exchange rate) for when I sue the person who offends me.

On Preview: Thanks, terrapin, you obliging doll!
posted by orange swan at 12:56 PM PST on January 5

My god, the unmitigated, complete hemorrhoidal assholery of a particular cockbucketed drama queen makes me wish for bannination superpowers.

AlexReynolds, be glad that most of us are not Matt: you'd be outta here so fast it'd make your head spin. Seldom has this place seen such idiocy as you've amply displayed.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:57 PM PST on January 5

TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER TO PASS TOGETHER FOREVER WE TWO
AND DON'T YOU KNOW I WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER WITH YOU
posted by chicobangs at 12:58 PM PST on January 5

Don't mind me, I'm just here for the floor show.
posted by headspace at 12:59 PM PST on January 5

This is the thread that never ends; yes, it goes on and on, my friends. Some people started posting here, not knowing what it was; and they'll continue posting here forever just because this is the thread that never ends; yes, it goes on and on, my friends. Some people started posting here, not knowing what it was; and they'll continue posting here forever just because this is the thread that never ends--yes! it goes on and on, my friends! Some people started posting here (not knowing what it was) and they'll continue posting here (forever) just because this is the threat that never ends...yes! It goes on and on, my friends
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:01 PM PST on January 5

**puts on black negligee, does the Time Warp**
posted by jonmc at 1:01 PM PST on January 5

If there's one thing I've learned from this thread, it's that Matt doesn't like 8000px-high GIFs.
posted by brownpau at 1:05 PM PST on January 5

It's not that he doesn't like them, brownpau; it's that he wouldn't want his daughter to marry one.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:06 PM PST on January 5

hey! what's goin'on here?
what's all this screaming? You people are disturbing the other threads!

Rolls sleeves. Assumes position.(had to be here also)
posted by carmina at 1:07 PM PST on January 5

Welcome back my friends to the thread that never ends
Bang Your Keyboard Till It Bends
Come inside! Come inside!
There behind a glass is Alex, he's an ass
be careful as you pass.
Move along! Move along!


Come inside, the thread's about to start
guaranteed to blow your head apart
Rest assured you'll get your psyche bent
The greatest show on the Internet.
You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo.
You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....

Soon the Drama Queen on a bump of amphetamine
Will perform on guillotine
What a scene! What a scene!
Next upon the rock will you please don't be shocked
But eat a big bowl of cocks
Roll up! Roll up! Roll up!
See the show!

Performing on a dish we've a sight to make you squish
Seven quonsars and a fish
Oh, pish pish! Oh, pish pish!
We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown
were exclusively our own,
All our own. All our own.
Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!
See the show!
posted by jonmc at 1:09 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:09 PM PST on January 5

jonmc: At least tip your hat to Emerson, Lake & Palmer, please.
posted by terrapin at 1:10 PM PST on January 5

*tips*
posted by jonmc at 1:11 PM PST on January 5

You drama-queen enablers are going for 300 comments aren't you?
posted by dabitch at 1:12 PM PST on January 5

jonmc: At least tip your hat to Emerson, Lake & Palmer, please

Are you accusing jonmc of plagiarism? You better apologize for that!
posted by Marxchivist at 1:13 PM PST on January 5

posted by joelf at 1:13 PM PST on January 5

Hey, orange swan... nice tits.



oh God I'm going to hell now I think...
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:13 PM PST on January 5

> TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER TO PASS TOGETHER FOREVER WE TWO
> AND DON'T YOU KNOW I WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER WITH YOU

And never to part would make so much more sense, doncha think?
posted by benzo8 at 1:14 PM PST on January 5

it's a mashed potato and jelly donut love affair
posted by poopy at 1:14 PM PST on January 5

it's a mashed potato and jelly donut love affair

like this other star-crossed yet tragic romance...
posted by jonmc at 1:16 PM PST on January 5

Hey, orange swan... nice tits.

It's okay, gay guys are allowed to publicly appreciate tits, since it's more or less furniture to them.
posted by jonmc at 1:17 PM PST on January 5

Dear Etheral Bligh, I do believe that was your shortest comment of all time. Well done.

Racism and bigotry are interchangable in my book, I guess you haven't read it yet. That's cool. How about bigotry instead then? Happy? Or how about prejudice?

By the way, a bunch of us (well, just me but I imagined it was a bunch of us and I used my non-dominant hand) jacked off into the mashed potatoes? I think the jelly donuts are safe though.
posted by fenriq at 1:18 PM PST on January 5

oh God I'm going to hell now I think...

naw I vote for purgatory ;)
posted by squeak at 1:19 PM PST on January 5

I dunno, tits are fun to play with. Bouncy bouncy bouncy.

Plus.. there is the occasional girl I'd happily bump uglies with. Don't worry, though, orange swan... I'll just play with your boobies. *puts face between them, goes whubbadawhubbadawhubbada*



There, plenty to be offended at :D


On preview:

squeak, does this mean I get spankings? From you? :D
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:20 PM PST on January 5

fenriq ..No they aren't, poopy already rubbed those all over his body. Yeeesch.
posted by dabitch at 1:21 PM PST on January 5

Hate the donut, love the hole.
posted by Mick at 1:21 PM PST on January 5

orange swan is like, thirteen or something.

You're a bad, bad man.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:21 PM PST on January 5

> TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER TO PASS TOGETHER FOREVER WE TWO
> AND DON'T YOU KNOW I WOULD MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER WITH YOU

And never to part would make so much more sense, doncha think?

You officially spent more time thinking about this lyric than I did.
posted by chicobangs at 1:22 PM PST on January 5

Gay race.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:22 PM PST on January 5

Everyone here is, like, thirteen.

Except for the narc in the corner.
Come on out of there. We all see you.
posted by chicobangs at 1:23 PM PST on January 5

Together forever we always will be
Oh how I love you
Together forever and never to part
To live without you
Could only mean heartbreak for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:24 PM PST on January 5

Dude, orange swan is a guy.

That's the most offensive thing I could come up with... ;)
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:24 PM PST on January 5

dirtynumbangelboy has obviously gone over Viagra Falls in a Barrel. A Barrel Of Cocks.
posted by jonmc at 1:24 PM PST on January 5

300, baby.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:25 PM PST on January 5

Actually, she's at least 19..
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:25 PM PST on January 5

> You officially spent more time thinking about this lyric than I did.

Worryingly, I didn't need to. The 80s kinda fused it into my brain. (Or maybe I'm gay?)
posted by benzo8 at 1:26 PM PST on January 5

Racism and bigotry are interchangable in my book,

Now in paperback! It's the Book of Not-Quite-Synonyms! Soon to be a Major Motion Picture! Oprah's Book Club Selection!
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:26 PM PST on January 5

I WOULD LIKE MY BUCKETBARREL OF COCKS NOW PLEASE
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:26 PM PST on January 5

Would you like some fries with that, sir?
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:27 PM PST on January 5

Could this thread be any gayer?

yeah, i said it, whatcha gonna do?
posted by eyeballkid at 1:28 PM PST on January 5

JUST THE COCKS, MA'AM
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:28 PM PST on January 5

I WOULD LIKE MY BUCKETBARREL OF COCKS NOW PLEASE

OK.

*turns on the fryer*

Dipping sauce?
posted by jonmc at 1:30 PM PST on January 5

*has teh_ghey_sexx0rs with eyeballkid, while listening to Liza Minelli*

There. Now it's gayer!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:30 PM PST on January 5

This is the best thread I've ever read. Thanks, y'all.
posted by metaculpa at 1:30 PM PST on January 5

squeak, does this mean I get spankings? From you? :D

if you bring the paddle ...
posted by squeak at 1:31 PM PST on January 5

jonmc, have I told you lately that I love you....





























..................IN THE ASS?


whee, it just got gayer!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:31 PM PST on January 5

Could this thread be any gayer?

Only if we put on this record and started making out.
posted by jonmc at 1:33 PM PST on January 5

This venue is being shut down by the fire marshal due to exceeding the Max. Capacity of 300 comments. I'm going to go make some coffee, and You all better not be here when I come back!
posted by exlotuseater at 1:33 PM PST on January 5

posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:34 PM PST on January 5

kidding us, exlotuseater? This is fun! I told the kids from the other threads to come over and join in the pit! 400, here we come!
posted by carmina at 1:38 PM PST on January 5

No no, SoS, those are cocks on buckets, not buckets of cocks!


posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:39 PM PST on January 5

I'M OFFENDED DIRTYNUMBANGELBOY. I'M A BASTARD CHILD OF ERIK ESTRADA. I DEMAND AN APOLOGY/PUBLIC FLOGGING/STRIP SHOW.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:43 PM PST on January 5

No no, SoS, those are cocks on buckets, not buckets of cocks!

You say tomato, I say tomato
you eat mashed potato and I eat mashed potato...
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:43 PM PST on January 5

cockbucketcockbucket
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:44 PM PST on January 5

EBK: Get on a plane and come here. We'll figure something out :D
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:46 PM PST on January 5

Official Obscure Acid Rock Band of Mefi

I've actually heard this. Not bad, in a sub-Blue Cheer/Cream kinda way
posted by jonmc at 1:46 PM PST on January 5

Sorry honey, Jon and I are having a little Ethel Merman party.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:50 PM PST on January 5

Hey Miss Reynolds, Donald Duck is a Dyke and Pedophile!


posted by dhoyt at 1:50 PM PST on January 5

Sorry honey, Jon and I are having a little Ethel Merman party.

And I just love the way this sequined gown hugs my ass.
posted by jonmc at 1:51 PM PST on January 5

dhoyt, that photograph is So Very, Very Wrong. Ook.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:54 PM PST on January 5

It's like Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe, Monty Python's The Holy Grail ("I apologized!" "No you didn't...") and a Jeff Stryker flick all got stuck in a blender...
posted by Cyrano at 1:55 PM PST on January 5

That girl in the photo is 27 years old. Te pic was taken at Plato's Retreat by Ron Jeremy himself.

That make you feel better, Sidhedevil?
posted by chicobangs at 2:00 PM PST on January 5

dhoyt, what Sidhedevil said.
posted by carmina at 2:00 PM PST on January 5

I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard.
posted by sciurus at 2:00 PM PST on January 5

posted by mosch at 2:01 PM PST on January 5

Fuck you, dude, you're ignorant, and dhoyt is an asshole for posting small pieces of private correspondence out of context and without permission.

You don't need permission to publish email sent to you, genius. What, are you going to call the internet police?
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:05 PM PST on January 5

Well, at least I actually offended someone this time, instead of pretend-offending; I feel better ;)

Plus, I just wanted to prepare you for this photo...




posted by dhoyt at 2:06 PM PST on January 5

Round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows!
posted by me3dia at 2:08 PM PST on January 5

Wow, I went from hating this thread more than anything to loving it in an unnatural fashion.

Y'know, like in a gay way.
posted by Specklet at 2:09 PM PST on January 5

Soecklet, are you saying being gay is ... unnatural?

Because that would mean you think that God, in allowing gay people to exist, made a mistake....

[/B.Hicks]
posted by chicobangs at 2:16 PM PST on January 5

Now it is a whole lot gayer.....
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 2:18 PM PST on January 5

Yeeeee-ikes.

For what it's worth, I really don't know whether Dhoyt meant Drama Queen as a gay slur or not, though it sure seems in the other thread it could have been meant that way.

If I called a gay friend a drama queen would they be offended. Huh. Probably in some situations. After all, it's a stereotype used to dismiss and demean.

But the big loser is.... Metafilter - for three hundred comments demanding a member get DOWN ON THEIR KNEES and BEG FORGIVENESS. The behavior in this thread way tops the behavior being complained about. It's a new low. I would expect more from pre-schoolers.
posted by xammerboy at 2:22 PM PST on January 5

Now you get angry? Now? Really? We're almost done de-dramafying this thread, and now you get angry?

But -- but -- but xammerboy, the puppies! See? Look up at the nice puppies! And Hasselhoff! He's so cuuuute! And the cock buckets! and the Rick Astley! How can you be mad at us?

(*makes pathetic pouty face*)
posted by chicobangs at 2:28 PM PST on January 5

posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:33 PM PST on January 5

AlexReynolds, be glad that most of us are not Matt: you'd be outta here so fast it'd make your head spin.

Don't be so quick to spit vitriol my way. I asked dhoyt privately to take it to Matt, some time ago.

I'll repost dhoyt's email a little later, word for word (no editing, unlike dhoyt) and you can read for yourself.
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:35 PM PST on January 5

Oh, snap.
posted by esch at 2:36 PM PST on January 5

How close are we to an event horizon of gayness?

on preview, oh shit, here we go again.
posted by sciurus at 2:37 PM PST on January 5

**puts on black negligee, does the Time Warp**

Now that's cooking with cum!
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:39 PM PST on January 5

Still waiting on my apology for "trash", Alex.
posted by bugbread at 2:40 PM PST on January 5

Oh, and since this thread is growing faster than my ... you know ... whenever Dominic Monaghan prances by and I didn't see it on preview:

Alex, in case you haven't noticed by now, we're well beyond you and your e-male.
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:41 PM PST on January 5

*pounds AlexReynolds over and over and over again in the head with a rubber whack-a-mole mallet*


/not a euphemism
posted by dhoyt at 2:43 PM PST on January 5

No, WolfDaddy, see, the thread was threatening to be about something other than AlexReynolds. And AlexReynolds cannot let that happen.
posted by chicobangs at 2:44 PM PST on January 5

You can all go to your rooms and think about what you've done. And, don't come back down until you're ready to apologise. NOW!
posted by seanyboy at 2:50 PM PST on January 5

What sciurus said.
posted by benzo8 at 2:50 PM PST on January 5

No, WolfDaddy, see, the thread was threatening to be about something other than AlexReynolds. And AlexReynolds cannot let that happen.

So if you keep beating up on me, I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut?

Fuck you and your mob mentality.
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:51 PM PST on January 5

So true chicobangs. So, while we're here, do all people with functioning reproductive organs get an apology for that breeder thing? With a side-order of crispy bucket of cock, please. And maybe some donuts.
posted by dabitch at 2:51 PM PST on January 5

"Doctor it hurts whenever I do this!"

"Then don't do that!"
posted by Ryvar at 2:53 PM PST on January 5

350+? New record for MetaTa?
posted by keswick at 2:54 PM PST on January 5

Alex, we were long finished beating up on you. We had moved on to airing the room out with Rick Astley, der Hasselhoff, Donald Duck and puppies.

But you glossed over all that bit, didn't you. You weren't mentioned in it, so to you it didn't exist. Right?
posted by chicobangs at 2:54 PM PST on January 5

On Thu, 30 Dec 2004 14:06:00 -0500, Alex Reynolds wrote:

You insulted a gay man with an insult reserved pretty much for gay men.

Even if I wasn't gay, I would find 'drama queen' offensive when used to describe anyone who is gay. Just like Schwartzenegger using 'girly man' or how Reggie White's past is being whitewashed, it is offensive.

You did not explain yourself in the original thread, so with a lack of context that is still lacking, I see little reason or need to apologize to you for my Metatalk comment, which stands in full.

If you're going to start a thread to complain about what other people say, then you had better learn to own up to your own comments.

I refuse to apologize to a bigot. The time for tolerating this
ignorance is over, as far as I'm concerned.

Feel free to complain to Matt or start another Metatalk thread if it bothers you.

-Alex
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:56 PM PST on January 5

On Sun, 2 Jan 2005 12:24:54 -0500, Alex Reynolds wrote:

You did not qualify your insult with context. You still haven't. As far as I'm concerned my comments stand.

I told you before: If it bothers you that you were called out, take it to the moderator.

-Alex
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:56 PM PST on January 5

... Right.
posted by chicobangs at 2:57 PM PST on January 5

I didn't ask for this thread any more than any of you. Thanks.
posted by AlexReynolds at 2:58 PM PST on January 5

Trash. Apology. Any time.

I refuse to apologize to a bigot.

Good, because dhoyt isn't a bigot. Everything works out.
posted by bugbread at 2:59 PM PST on January 5

OH THE HUMANITY!
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:00 PM PST on January 5

Trash. Apology. Any time.

What are you talking about?
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:00 PM PST on January 5

Fuck you and your self-importance.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:00 PM PST on January 5

But part of you is overjoyed at how protracted and painful it's been, eh Alex?

We'd resolved this as far as it was going to be resolved in a public forum 150 comments ago. You have flogged the horse down past burger meat into its component atoms by now, and the only reason you won't give the ghost up is because you'll never get this much attention again.

I'm close, aren't I.
posted by chicobangs at 3:01 PM PST on January 5

Fuck you and your self-importance.

Here's self-importance:

I have friends and family reading this site who I certainly don’t want to mislead into thinking I would deliberately ridicule someone’s sexuality.

So a big Fuck You right back at you.
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:02 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:02 PM PST on January 5

i liked this thread a lot better when it was derailed with david hasselhoff and cock buckets
posted by pyramid termite at 3:03 PM PST on January 5

STFU Steve, and a big STFU to the rest of the mob mentality here.
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:04 PM PST on January 5

Wait. This is all joke, right? I get it now. Every comment Alex posts serves to make dhoyt look better and better. It's like some kind of bizarro experiment! Am I right? What do I win?

Quick! More David Hasslehoff and puppies!
posted by eyeballkid at 3:05 PM PST on January 5

posted by quonsar at 3:05 PM PST on January 5

I totally heart Steve_at_Linnwood now. Great shot.
posted by dabitch at 3:07 PM PST on January 5

you just don't get it
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:07 PM PST on January 5

Get up, Alex. No one's hitting you anymore.

Take a step back and have a deep breath. The bell has rung. The round is over. Have a hot shower, find someone to sleep with if you're up for it, and come back tomorrow with a fresh outlook.

Trust me. All this useless beauty will look way better in the morning after eggs and coffee.

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun.
posted by chicobangs at 3:09 PM PST on January 5

hmm.
posted by Stynxno at 3:10 PM PST on January 5

posted by pyramid termite at 3:10 PM PST on January 5

Excellent!

[right-click, save as]
posted by chicobangs at 3:10 PM PST on January 5

Aaaaaaaand Pyramid termite wins the thread. GG all! I vote for CS_Office next!
posted by Ryvar at 3:12 PM PST on January 5

I may get hung out to dry for this and while I wholly disagree with AlexReynolds and his assertion that the term "drama queen" is in some way homophobic -- I can't imagine that any good can come out of the continued pile-on.

Imagine your worst day. Imagine hundreds of people hurling insults your way.

Then again, to be fair, I think others were moving on (albeit on a path of insanity) before AlexReynolds once again turned the tides against him.

I know I can't persuade anyone to amend their behavior...let's just say empathy got the best of me.
posted by Lola_G at 3:14 PM PST on January 5

Every comment Alex posts serves to make dhoyt look better and better.

You're right:

I keep pointing out how dhoyt didn't apologize privately, I keep pointing out how he didn't take it to the appropriate venue, I keep pointing out how he posted private emails publicly, but he keeps looking better and better.

I don't know what to say about this character other than that, but it speaks volumes about the mob mentality here.

Frankly I'm sick of taking abuse from the rest of you who didn't know the background story, or continue to ignore it. So we can either give the insults a rest or keep going. Up to you.
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:16 PM PST on January 5

posted by quonsar at 3:16 PM PST on January 5

Yep. No less than what I expected.
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:16 PM PST on January 5

Quonsar: please stop posting porn. this is inappropriate, and diverted me from work for at least 11 minutes.
posted by mosch at 3:17 PM PST on January 5

I *heart* quonsar.
posted by Lola_G at 3:18 PM PST on January 5

Frankly I'm sick of taking abuse from the rest of you who didn't know the background story, or continue to ignore it. So we can either give the insults a rest or keep going. Up to you.
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:16 PM PST on January 5

Why can't you just leave in a huff like all the other people getting their painties in a wad over something someone said on the internet?
posted by angry modem at 3:19 PM PST on January 5

posted by theFlyingSquirrel at 3:19 PM PST on January 5

HEY!

All you're doing is making this post more likely to be deleted. As long as it stands, it's an eternal monument to the dangers of freaking out and blaming everyone else for your own problems. It's like an HO scale model Kristallnacht.

Let it stand as a warning to future generations of MeFiers.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 3:19 PM PST on January 5

Me: "Trash. Apology. Any time."

Alex: "What are you talking about?"

You used the word "trashed" early in the discussion, to which I responded:

Me: "I'd like you to apologize to all of the low-income caucasian people in this thread for the blatant insult in this sentence."

I followed it up by calling you "asshole", but if you apologize for using your language demeaning to caucasians living under the poverty line, I'll apologize for calling you an asshole.
posted by bugbread at 3:19 PM PST on January 5

I followed it up by calling you "asshole", but if you apologize for using your language demeaning to caucasians living under the poverty line, I'll apologize for calling you an asshole.

Do you mean the term "wh*te trash"? Because I don't use that term, and I'm not getting sucked into another discussion on this because you think you're being funny. Sorry, "asshole".
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:22 PM PST on January 5

These cocks, I've never ate one before.

Which end do you start at?
posted by Jeremy at 3:25 PM PST on January 5

posted by mosch at 3:26 PM PST on January 5

You are a:



Metafilter Member!

Emo glasses wearing, Modest Mouse listening, whining, contrived, pretentious, large forehead, still likes Radiohead, wants to move to Canada, thinks the Democrats are just swell, is kind, sensitive, as long as you're talking to a girl, concerned about the lack of compassion in the world today, and really feels for the plight of the gay man.
posted by angry modem at 3:29 PM PST on January 5

well, if the guy lays his plight right out there for the feeling.
posted by quonsar at 3:30 PM PST on January 5

Woof!
posted by Witty at 3:33 PM PST on January 5

Hey, orange swan... nice tits.

[tries to work up sense of outrage, fails utterly, decides to go eat a gingersnap]
posted by orange swan at 3:36 PM PST on January 5

Do you mean the term "wh*te trash"? Because I don't use that term, and I'm not getting sucked into another discussion on this because you think you're being funny. Sorry, "asshole".

Now you know exactly what every person in this thread is thinking about your arguments. Imagine that every post you made was actually by me, regarding the word "trash". Suddenly, the people attacking me would look a lot less like they were governed by mob mentality, and more that they all felt that I was being an idiot and you were being unfairly attacked. My arguments would look pretty unfair. Your protestations of innocence would look pretty damn fair. And if I apologized for calling you an asshole only on the condition that you apologized for using the word "trash", people wouldn't call it a fair apology.

I'm not saying the cases are completely equivalent. I personally believe they're pretty close, but I'm not going to presume that you should share that belief. I just want you to see how this entire thing looks from our end of the periscope.
posted by bugbread at 3:36 PM PST on January 5

*sincerely hopes that bugbread got through there.*
posted by dabitch at 3:39 PM PST on January 5

399... take it!
posted by Witty at 3:43 PM PST on January 5

wh*te trash

Best. Eupemism. Evar.

We can say fuck and asshole and gay, but god forbid we type out white trash... because someone might get offended.
posted by Specklet at 3:43 PM PST on January 5

I just wanted to say that this is the first time I've posted on Metatalk.

Wheee!

Well, that was fun.

Oh, and AlexReynold's self-censoring of the word "white" was the funniest thing I've seen in this thread. Besides the Chesty package.

On second thought, fuck p*tato chips.
posted by krinklyfig at 3:46 PM PST on January 5

Er, sorry, let's just pretend that I spell checked and said what bugbread said.
posted by Specklet at 3:46 PM PST on January 5

WELL FUCK IT, IF MATT WILL DELETE THE ED KEAY-SMITH THREAD WITH MY PAINSTAKINGLY COMPOSED SPAMMER SLASH FIC IN IT:

Ed Keay-Smith AlexReynolds. Ed Keay-Smith AlexReynolds. That golden, hopeful name, glowing phosphor-bright from the screen as if in a wondrous dream. It's been over a decade since those precious, stolen nights in a flophouse in Buenos Aires, and still I shiver with a climactic thrill at the very mention of your name. Ed Keay-Smith AlexReynolds... I fucking loved you.

The way you held me! The way your vast phallus throbbed against my thigh! The poetry you whispered in my ear, painting delerious fantasies of low romance and high religion on the bronze skyline of thpse humid Argentine nights! That is how I will always remember you. That is the Ed Keay-Smith AlexReynolds that will live forever. Not this, not what you have become. The Ed Keay-Smith AlexReynolds these others see, and scorn - they do not know it is not you. The real you, the one who fucked me repeatedly on a rude camp-bed in a tumbledown San Telmo tenament , and then cried because of the beauty of the world. The dreamer; the poet; the pounding cock-hungry leather-daddy; the elven jester. These Ed Keay-Smiths AlexReynolds's are mine, and mine only.

I cannot justify what you have done here, nor explain how you fell so far. But Alex, if you are reading this - whatever you did, however you made a mistake, I forgive you. I love you, I always have done, and I would give anything, anything at all, for one more opportunity to feel you potent, thrusting masculinity move inside me one more time.

Oh, Alex, Alex, AlexReynolds. My dearest love. Why?

That is all.
posted by flashboy at 3:47 PM PST on January 5

T*me for d*nner!
posted by chicobangs at 3:47 PM PST on January 5

Burp. 400.
posted by xammerboy at 3:49 PM PST on January 5

See Witty? I *knew* you looked at gay porn! I, uh, just didn't know there were any pictures of me left out there like that. I mean, really, Yes? And BODY HAIR? Not to mention the tighty whitie look. The boxer rebellion put those out of style long ago and far away. Sigh.

Imagine your worst day. Imagine hundreds of people hurling insults your way.

While I appreciate your empathy, there's a difference between hundreds of people hurling insults your way and hundreds of people hurling insults your way in a public, online forum. I have far more empathy for the former than the latter, mainly because for someone to have hundreds of people insulting you in real life, you've got to be a stand-up comic. And comedy is hard.

Which end do you start at?

C'mere kid, I'll show you.
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:49 PM PST on January 5

We can say fuck and asshole and gay, but god forbid we type out white trash... because someone might get offended.


Well, a lot of you have taken my comments out of context already, picking and choosing what you want to throw back at me. So I have to be careful about my choice of words.

I'm not saying the cases are completely equivalent. I personally believe they're pretty close, but I'm not going to presume that you should share that belief.

Thanks for the calm and reasoned argument. I see your point. I do not agree with it because of the circumstances around how this "snowballed".
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:50 PM PST on January 5

dude, you're like 406.
posted by Jeremy at 3:50 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:51 PM PST on January 5

OMG!
posted by Witty at 3:51 PM PST on January 5

That's gonna leave a mark.
posted by Witty at 3:51 PM PST on January 5

Yep. Mob mentality. You guys must not get out much.
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:53 PM PST on January 5

Myth:

AlexReynolds is a m*mmal...

Fact:

He fights all the t*me...

He is gay, and by gay I mean totally "light in the loaf*rs"...
posted by dhoyt at 3:53 PM PST on January 5

Nope.. No hope of getting through to the guy who cracks up at psycotic disordered breeders. Le Sigh.
posted by dabitch at 3:54 PM PST on January 5

woah.


posted by mosch at 3:55 PM PST on January 5

posted by sciurus at 3:57 PM PST on January 5

This may not be the longest MeTa thread ever (yet), but by god it may be the most illustrated.

It almost feels farky in here. Like putting on an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt you last wore in high school.
posted by chicobangs at 3:58 PM PST on January 5

Wow, I've never seen anybody post his own idiotic, self-important e-mail for public dissection before. Alex, will you please flame out and slam the door behind you so we can have our pancakes and cockbuckets in peace?

Lola: Your empathy is admirable but misplaced; the only reason Alex could possibly have had for jumping back into this thread is to soak up some more animosity.
posted by languagehat at 3:58 PM PST on January 5

Photoshopping is so cool! Can I join your mob?
posted by AlexReynolds at 3:58 PM PST on January 5

Oh, MetaFilter- I Love You. Let's spoon.
posted by exlotuseater at 3:59 PM PST on January 5

Can I join your mob?

It requires a $5 donation.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 3:59 PM PST on January 5

Do we need to take up a collection to pay for the bandwidth this thread is sucking up? Donation page is here. I think I better throw something in the pot, this has been way too much entertainment for only $5.
posted by Marxchivist at 3:59 PM PST on January 5

Oh, my heavens. You know, I actually disagree with everything (I think) dhoyt has to say, and I thought his "drama queen" comment on the original thread this is about was spectacularly assholish, EVEN THOUGH I a) didn't know digaman was gay (though, in retrospect, I suppose I could have thought that if I had known i) that digaman is a man, and ii) that digaman, read slowly, says "dig a man"), and b) didn't think that "drama queen" was considered to be a particularly anti-gay slur, especially since the mainstream blockbuster success of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (which is not about a man)--

--but, AlexReynolds, if you think that dhoyt's emails to you make HIM look like the asshole in your little exchange, you're wrong.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:00 PM PST on January 5

I have a watch just like the one on that guy's wrist.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:00 PM PST on January 5

It requires a $5 donation.

I'll leave it on your dad's bedside table, Steve, dear.
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:01 PM PST on January 5

And, Steve@L, Alex needs to keep that $5, because he's saving up for a sense of humor.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:01 PM PST on January 5

Oh SNAP AlexReynolds just made my point for me.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:01 PM PST on January 5

Christ, what a bunch of fucking wankers.

Not that I'm onanophobic. Honestly.
posted by Jimbob at 4:02 PM PST on January 5

Oh SNAP, you go mob-girl!
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:02 PM PST on January 5

Met*T*lk: sl*m the door behind you so we c*n have our p*ncakes *nd cockbuckets in pe*ce.
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:02 PM PST on January 5

breeders breeders breeders breeders

AlexReynolds, I'm typing this with my very feminine vagina RIGHT NOW!
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:02 PM PST on January 5

Lola: Your empathy is admirable but misplaced; the only reason Alex could possibly have had for jumping back into this thread is to soak up some more animosity.


Lest we forget:

[T]he thread was threatening to be about something other than AlexReynolds. And AlexReynolds cannot let that happen.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 4:04 PM PST on January 5

And, AlexReynolds, it's so funny watching you try to be funny that it's almost not funny anymore. I know that right now you're feeling all self-satisfied like "I'm showing those stupid people that I, too, can sink to their level" but really you're just making yourself look worse and worse.

That's the best part.

Well, that, and the fact that you splatted "white trash". Hee, hee, hee.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:04 PM PST on January 5

Wow, you lose any right to call anyone a homophobe with that little comment there.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 4:04 PM PST on January 5

See, AlexReynolds, your mother was wrong. We other kids don't tease you because we're jealous--we tease you because you're humorless and self-righteous (as jonmc mentioned above the Hasselhoff, supra).
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:06 PM PST on January 5

So if you keep beating up on me, I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut? Fuck you and your mob mentality.

Wow, you lose any right to call anyone a homophobe with that little comment there.

No, I most certainly don't, Steve, dear. But I get to insult you when you're more than happy to put words in my mouth that I didn't say, asshole.
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:06 PM PST on January 5

in my next life i shall reincarnate as Sidhedevil's keypad.
posted by quonsar at 4:06 PM PST on January 5

S@L, Alex's right to call anyone a homophobe was actually revoked by the Internet Police after he called heterosexuals "breeders". He's been homophobing without a license for quite a while, now.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:07 PM PST on January 5

I'm guessing... of all the ensuing posts from Queen of the Ball, in this thread or any other, no less than 80% of them will mention the word mob as if that's what all the different people who have posted here are to him.

Alex, you have trolled the room in a more successful way than damn near anyone we didn't know beforehand in maybe years. I stand erect and applaud you.

But you gotta admit, it is rich to hear someone ranting about how I should get out more often when they've posted, what, 40 times to this thread alone?

And not a stitch of humor anywhere. Darling, how gauche!

Thanks, Alex. Your superhuman stamina at sustaining a pose of mock horror at a perceived slight has provided me with a full day's worth of clowny entertainment. Now I have friends waiting for me in a bar, so I'm going to go. If you're still indignant tonight, well, maybe you need some friends in a bar somewhere too.
posted by chicobangs at 4:07 PM PST on January 5

Oh, can I type that? My very feminine vagina.

And just so I can see it again: My very feminine vagina.

Also: dude's schlong (for the history, this thread HAS to be tied to that one)
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:08 PM PST on January 5

Holy shit this is still going on.
posted by xmutex at 4:08 PM PST on January 5

Know who is the REAL winner in this, what with all the free publicity?

Disney.



posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 4:08 PM PST on January 5

mwrawrrrr...chicobangs is erect...
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:09 PM PST on January 5

posted by AlexReynolds at 4:11 PM PST on January 5

You call that a photoshop?


Weak dude.... weak...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 4:12 PM PST on January 5

"mwrawrrrr...chicobangs is erect..."

Well, how else would expect chico to be able to bang?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:14 PM PST on January 5

That's totally your head on that body. No photoshop is a good photoshop without matching a different head to the body.
posted by bugbread at 4:15 PM PST on January 5

But he's smiling? See? He loves the attention!

He's going to dry-hump this cow until it gives thesweet milk of redemption for him.

Unfortunately, that's not how cows work.



And there are many ways to bang, grasshopper.

Also, sorry about the trashy metaphor.
posted by chicobangs at 4:15 PM PST on January 5

Thanks to this thread, I've finally caught The Gay. Somebody's contagious.

BTW - does the tingling go away after awhile, or does it stay like this?
posted by ruddhist at 4:15 PM PST on January 5

Petty. Petty.
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:17 PM PST on January 5

Why just settle for dry-humping the cow?
posted by xmutex at 4:17 PM PST on January 5

Dueling pistols at noon!
And watch out for hetrophobes in ATX if you visit. Dueling pistols at the Rainbow Cattle Club!

Or perhaps we have all just been enthralled into a secrete lovers quarrel.
posted by buzzman at 4:19 PM PST on January 5

Well, if you caught it from me, ruddhist, it's just The Bi.

Why dry-hump the cow when you can get the milk for free?

I was going to make a joke about AlexReynolds's glasses, but I've already humiliated myself so deeply elsewhere by making a joke about someone else's gums that I'll just come right out and say that I'm jealous of AlexReynolds's glasses. And gums.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:20 PM PST on January 5

Petty. Petty.

What about the Heartbreakers, man?

big STFU to the rest of the mob mentality here.

Note: Alex, does not, even for a moment, stop to wonder "what exactly did I do to unite an entire community weblog against me across racial, ethnic, gender sexual and political lines? did I act like a jerk? did I deliberately set out to piss everyone off to make up for small penis? Maybe perhaps, it's me?"

You initially pissed me off with your attitude, Alex, but if you recall, I actually did try to engage in civil conversation, but you kept on being a pompous ass. You could've stopped to think, you could have demonstrated a sense of humor, you could have quit deliberately antagonizing absolutely everyone just to feed your ego. But you didn't and you reap what you sow. HA! HA! HA!

I have never seen a bigger jerk than you on MeFi, and that's saying something.

But just remember:


posted by jonmc at 4:21 PM PST on January 5

I am sick and tired of dhoyt and MetaFilter oppressing AlexReynolds.
posted by trharlan at 4:22 PM PST on January 5

We can get to 500.

If we believe.
posted by xmutex at 4:24 PM PST on January 5

Even if I wasn't gay, I would find 'drama queen' offensive when used to describe anyone who is gay.
Seeing as you ARE guy, that is completely irrelevant. It is a misnomer to say "if such and such" because it is impossible to know the consequential effects of how you change any given siutation. After all, being a br**der might make you wh*te trash, a new low in **ism.
posted by jmd82 at 4:25 PM PST on January 5

posted by seanyboy at 4:26 PM PST on January 5

posted by theFlyingSquirrel at 4:26 PM PST on January 5

and as always Jim Goad gets it right yet again:

It isn't what you do, it's the way you do it. Not the meat, but rather the motion. It's not what you're saying, it's your lousy voice. It isn't your private cock-slurping, it's your public megaphone-mouth. It ain't how you move beneath the sheets, it's the way you wave the picket signs around. The problem isn't your self-consciously "decadent"
personal lifestyle, it's your warped social instincts.

I guess you and Jimmy must have met.
posted by jonmc at 4:26 PM PST on January 5

You initially pissed me off with your attitude, Alex, but if you recall, I actually did try to engage in civil conversation, but you kept on being a pompous ass.

Only one occasion were you civil. Every other time was an insult fest. You're almost as much as cock as dhoyt, and that's saying something.
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:27 PM PST on January 5

We can get to 500. If we believe.

I have faith in the Mob.
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:28 PM PST on January 5

chicobangs, I know you meant to say "tr*shy metaphor."
posted by Specklet at 4:28 PM PST on January 5

I guess you and Jimmy must have met.

You can name-drop? OMG you're so cool!
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:30 PM PST on January 5

M*b.

Okay, here's a question I like to ask at parties: If you were stranded on Gilligan's Isl*nd, who would y*u sleep w*th? And who w*uld y*u eat?
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:32 PM PST on January 5

OMG, keep posting.

Why can't people just walk away. Christ. This thread would have been like 20 messages long.

That said, keep up the good work. 500 messages would be awesome to the max.
posted by chunking express at 4:32 PM PST on January 5

posted by quonsar at 4:33 PM PST on January 5

eat or "eat"?
posted by Jeremy at 4:33 PM PST on January 5

alex ...



the fried ice cream is now served ... you may stop going for it now
posted by pyramid termite at 4:34 PM PST on January 5

Eat. You know, in the "consume nutrition" sense.

Here's my answer:

A) The Professor and Maryanne.

B) Lovie Howell.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:34 PM PST on January 5

If you were stranded on Gilligan's Isl*nd, who would y*u sleep w*th? And who w*uld y*u eat?

I'd sleep with the white trash girl, and eat the fattie.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:35 PM PST on January 5

Hmmm. Alex is quite cute, if those photos are anything to go by. Not how I'd pictured him all this time - I thought probably blonde, spiky hair, no glasses but with a certain low-slung thrift-shop chic - but cute, certainly.

Anyway. One of the reasons I love Sidhedevil, other than her perspicacity and talent for well-timed swearing, is her username. Any username based on non-intuitive Gaelic pronunciation is a good thing. Just thought I'd say.

On towards the 500, people. And after that, Moscow.
posted by flashboy at 4:36 PM PST on January 5

you mean wh*te trash girl ?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 4:36 PM PST on January 5

Y'know Alex, I don't believe you're actually gay. All the gay men I've ever known (and I've known my share) have had senses of humor and likable personalities. They also had limits to how much assholery they'd put up with and they'd be sorely tempted to kick your ass after about five minutes.

There's plenty of people I've disagreed with contentiously on this site, but most of 'em can let it go after awhile, and most of them I'd be gald to hang out with and often I have. But the idea of drinking a beer with you makes me want to remove my eyes with sharpened spoons.

Okay, here's a question I like to ask at parties: If you were stranded on Gilligan's Isl*nd, who would y*u sleep w*th? And who w*uld y*u eat?

I'd eat Mr. Howell. All that rich people food probably makes him taste good, like foie gras.

I'd fuck Mary Anne of course. Love them corn-fed cuties.


You can name-drop? OMG you're so cool!

Actually, I've never met Mr. Goad, even though he's my hero and role model, and I doubt most mefites have even heard of him, so name-dropping him would be rather pointless.

You're not to good at this, Alex. Maybe you should take up macrame.
posted by jonmc at 4:36 PM PST on January 5

I'm typing this with my very feminine vagina RIGHT NOW!

Damn, I had been trying so hard to keep my boundless admiration for Sidhedevil strictly platonic...
posted by LarryC at 4:37 PM PST on January 5

WolfDaddy, I just have to say: I simply cannot get over how feminine your vagina looks!

How DO you keep it that way?


(Also, Sp*cklet, I stand corr*cted.)
posted by chicobangs at 4:38 PM PST on January 5

23skidoo I love yoooo
posted by Specklet at 4:38 PM PST on January 5

jonmc, you're on the right track, but note that Thurston Howell smokes cigars.

Lovie Howell is the perfect culinary choice, being wealthy and pampered--"like foie gras" as you say. Soft, tasty, white meat, without a muscle on it.

Less thoughtful people often choose the Skipper, because he's the biggest, but that's a mistake. You know he has a horrible drinking problem, which is going to make his cirrhotic liver taste like an old boot.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:39 PM PST on January 5

To clarify: Sidhedevil, I expect such vaginal grace from a sorta-breeder-type like you, but I'm impressed with Mister Daddy's entry.

I'm taking notes!
posted by chicobangs at 4:39 PM PST on January 5

23skidoo: as an overweight caucasian male from a lower-middle-class background, I demand an immediate apology on behalf of all wh*te trash f*tties everywhere.

An apology, and warm, delicious, fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Which can be left by the door on your way out.
posted by ruddhist at 4:39 PM PST on January 5

Sidhedevil, Jonmc: You can't have your own answers, it's a mob. There's no "me" in "mob".
posted by bugbread at 4:39 PM PST on January 5

Then -- then that means we're a meb!

OMG! Everyone quick start eating Mrs. Howell!
posted by chicobangs at 4:41 PM PST on January 5

Fair enough, bugbread, but if you were paying attention, you'd see that I was already trying to oppress people with my hegemonic point of view.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:41 PM PST on January 5

And there may be no "me" in "mob", but you can't have "MetaFilter" without ME!
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:42 PM PST on January 5

Sheesh, kids, I leave the room for five minutes, and see what happens?

This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by Floydd at 4:42 PM PST on January 5

and my very feminine vagina
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:43 PM PST on January 5

jonmc, you're on the right track, but note that Thurston Howell smokes cigars.

Did I mention that I (no joke) had smoked sausage for dinner tonight. It'd add just the right flavor, and give me the nicotine I need.

Of course it'd be advisable to stick to oral sex. Starving castaways always swallow.

Fair enough, bugbread, but if you were paying attention, you'd see that I was already trying to oppress people with my hegemonic point of view.

ooooh, opress me next. roowwwrr.
posted by jonmc at 4:43 PM PST on January 5

I would totally eat Mary Ann. And Ginger. Then Mary Ann again.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:43 PM PST on January 5

If you're really fat, you don't need to be eating the cookies. If you're really white trash, you'd just ask for Chips Ahoy.

But I left the cookies anyways.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:43 PM PST on January 5

No no, you gotta eat Ginger. Mrs Howell is halfway to jerky. Ginger is soft white meat. That still leaves Mary Ann for the first question.
posted by LarryC at 4:44 PM PST on January 5

Alex Reynolds:

Your total inability to understand, relax, stop making the world your own personal battle will do nothing but lead to further conflict and heartache in your own life. Why, when I was in my 20s, I met the love of my life, and I thought the world of her. But I joined the Army, to see the world and show my love for the world, but while waiting for me to come back from Vietnam, she found someone else. The moral of the story, is get off this internet website, get out there, and be with that girl/guy, and forget all this compassionate nonsense. It'll be better for all of us.
posted by angry modem at 4:45 PM PST on January 5

But LarryC, fully 17% of Ginger's weight is silicone!
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:46 PM PST on January 5

nobody wants to eat or sleep with gilligan or the professor ... what's up with that? ... true, gilligan's the skipper's "little buddy" ... but the professor's not taken
posted by pyramid termite at 4:46 PM PST on January 5

But the idea of drinking a beer with you makes me want to remove my eyes with sharpened spoons.

The feeling is mutual, you can be sure of that.
posted by AlexReynolds at 4:47 PM PST on January 5

In a well-thought-out move, AlexReynolds provides a photograph of himself in the course of a photoshop-heavy pileon targeting him.

BALLS!
posted by scarabic at 4:47 PM PST on January 5

On, the other hand, the skipper is probably very well marbled. I bet he tastes like the pastrami at Katz's.
posted by jonmc at 4:47 PM PST on January 5

Me me me me! I want the Professor. He's hot. If he can make a radio out of a coconut, imagine what else he could cook up in that lab of his.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:48 PM PST on January 5

OMG! I broked teh F5! what happenz next? LOLocaust!!!!111eleventyone1111!!11
posted by exlotuseater at 4:48 PM PST on January 5

homophobia, photoshop, apologies, buckets of cocks, a flame out, Gilligans Island and now Vietnam Vets. This thread has every fucking thing.
woot
posted by seanyboy at 4:49 PM PST on January 5

posted by quonsar at 4:49 PM PST on January 5

D.

(or, for those who don't read Latin, "500")
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:49 PM PST on January 5

500 bitchs.
posted by Jeremy at 4:49 PM PST on January 5

23s: Don't you pass judgement on my Life Choices! This will not stand!

I gotta say, though... these are pretty good cookies.

And mr_crash: You're completely ignoring the possibilities of them eating each other, aren't you? Hawt!
posted by ruddhist at 4:50 PM PST on January 5

I can't imagine that any good can come out of the continued pile-on.

For a while, I thought some good had come of it: it looked like Alex had finally caught a braincell and decided to STFU.

But nooooooo, he came back and dug his hole even deeper.

Astounding:

I keep pointing out how dhoyt didn't apologize privately, I keep pointing out how he didn't take it to the appropriate venue, I keep pointing out how he posted private emails publicly, but he keeps looking better and better.

You poor stupid sod. You still don't understand that dhoyt has nothing to apologize for and that you keep making yourself look more and more like a great, gaping, vacuous asshole.

Enjoy your trip to China, Alex. Let us know when you need a new spade.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:50 PM PST on January 5

quonsar wins!
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:50 PM PST on January 5

Starts wondering what a very masculine vagina would look like....

Goes back to thinking about Mary Ann, who posts like Sidhedevil, tuning my coconuts....
posted by Floydd at 4:50 PM PST on January 5

Hell, I'll take the Professor.
And I vote we eat the Skipper. What a windbag.
posted by Specklet at 4:50 PM PST on January 5

Floydd, look up "tucking" on the internets, and you'll see all the masculine vagina you want.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:51 PM PST on January 5

posted by Danelope at 4:52 PM PST on January 5

five fresh fish ... that's sp*de
posted by pyramid termite at 4:52 PM PST on January 5

And remember, without "U", it'd just be a cl*ster f*ck.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:53 PM PST on January 5

Y'know Alex, I don't believe you're actually gay.

I've got to call you out on that one Jon. You did see the wine bottle and glass in the picture, right?

On, the other hand, the skipper is probably very well marbled. I bet he tastes like the pastrami at Katz's.

The reason I have to visit you monkeys in NY again.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:54 PM PST on January 5

Floydd, look up "tucking" on the internets, and you'll see all the masculine vagina you want.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:51 PM PST on January 5


All of a sudden I'm not so curious....

(Breaks out 2" spade bit and a gallon of Lysol to try to get that image out of my brain)
posted by Floydd at 4:55 PM PST on January 5

The feeling is mutual, you can be sure of that.

And it makes feel all empty inside...

*sob*

Onto a better question: Quien es mas caliente, Lynda Carter o Catherine Bach? es una pregunta muy importante.

These were the two women who made me realize I was a heterosexual.

Starts wondering what a very masculine vagina would look like....

probably something like Merlin Olsen on Father Murphy.

See, alex, we're all having some fun here, and you've locked yourself out of it. Sucks, dosent it?
posted by jonmc at 4:55 PM PST on January 5

sidhedevil ... OW!!!!
posted by pyramid termite at 4:57 PM PST on January 5

dude. you guys are totally mean.
posted by fishfucker at 4:57 PM PST on January 5

That's a beautiful face, Danelope. What is it?
posted by five fresh fish at 4:57 PM PST on January 5

It's all about Lynda. She's got that truth lasso, and gauntlety things that make her strong. Rowr.
posted by Specklet at 4:59 PM PST on January 5

Whaddya say about 600?

Also: I had no idea there would be gay people on MetaFilter. I really think the terms page needs to be updated.
posted by xmutex at 4:59 PM PST on January 5

These were the two women who made me realize I was a heterosexual.

For me it was Esther Dyson and Marie Curie, but I hear ya, jonmc.
posted by Floydd at 5:01 PM PST on January 5

jonmc has me hankerin' for some smokin' sausage of my own. Have I caught teh gay from this thread?

Of course, if it was Mary-Ann that gave me a smokin' sausage, I suppose that'd make me a breeder. Rescued by Gilligan's Island!
posted by five fresh fish at 5:02 PM PST on January 5

it could be truly said of marie curie that she didn't perspire, but glowed ...
posted by pyramid termite at 5:03 PM PST on January 5

The reason I have to visit you monkeys in NY again.

and we'd love to have ya again, if only to give you your deep fried mars bar. But you can order Katz's pastrami online. Bring a taste of the Lower East Side to LA, brother.
posted by jonmc at 5:03 PM PST on January 5

Holy Crap! $79 for the combo? Wow.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:08 PM PST on January 5

Daisy Duke. No question.
posted by yerfatma at 5:11 PM PST on January 5

Um, Floydd, if you're saving yourself for Esther, I have some bad news...
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:11 PM PST on January 5

Just you guys wait until I get home and bring my SA pics into this.
posted by keswick at 5:11 PM PST on January 5

It might lose something without the atmosphere, dude. Too bad you can't get the rice pudding, though.
posted by jonmc at 5:12 PM PST on January 5

I'm simply awed by this thread. It's going to be sad for all the people who join MetaFilter in the years to come, when there are injokes about this thread, but they have no idea what they mean because Matt has deleted it.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:14 PM PST on January 5

matt will let this thread stand. One because he has a sense of humor. and two because he realizes that every year or so we need to go apeshit just to get it out of our system.

Now, you know what this thread needs:

NUTS & BALLS!
posted by jonmc at 5:17 PM PST on January 5

Is it possible that this thread will reach a thousand comments? At this rate it'll hit in a few hours.

Loved the pic of Dirty Donald Duck though, that was priceless. And disgusting at the same time, the very best kind of humor!
posted by fenriq at 5:23 PM PST on January 5

By the way, jonmc, I thought of you earlier today when Kid Rock's Bawitdaba came up on the iPod (I was wrong, I have 3 Kid Rock songs). And then I clicked ahead to another Britney Spears remix.

Just kidding. It was a Britney and Nina Simone mashup.
posted by fenriq at 5:25 PM PST on January 5

And it makes feel all empty inside...

Try wiping the spittle off your mouth. I've read it will help your vitriol come out easier.
posted by AlexReynolds at 5:25 PM PST on January 5

we'll do our best, fenriq my man.

I've got a belly fulla bourbon ,beer smoked sausage and sauerkraut, I'm listening to the Small Faces sing "Sha-La-La-La-Lee" and there's a hilarious thread going.

It don't get any better than this.
posted by jonmc at 5:25 PM PST on January 5

I've read it will help your vitriol come out easier.

My vitriol comes out just fine. Could it be your jealous that I'm a better writer than you?
posted by jonmc at 5:27 PM PST on January 5

That's a beautiful face, Danelope. What is it?

What is this, some sort of typographobic slur? I've had it up to here with you and your anti-fontography, but I really shouldn't be surprised; font-hating is par for the course on MetaFilter.
posted by Danelope at 5:28 PM PST on January 5

Could it be your jealous that I'm a better writer than you?

Watch out for those contractions; they're killers, man.
posted by AlexReynolds at 5:31 PM PST on January 5

Punctuation does not a good writer make, philistine.


68 MetaFilter user(s) link to this user.

4 MetaFilter user(s) link to this user.

looks like one of us is getting his message across better than the other.
posted by jonmc at 5:33 PM PST on January 5

For the record, Alex, I agreed with you initially. I think dhoyt did the right thing for making this apology, he had something to apologize, and this whole thing could've been settled among gentlemen. People who've made the silly argument that since dhoyt didn't "mean" anything it's ok for him to use slurs are wrong. In polite society, you apologize for offensive remarks even if there is no malicious intent. Unfortunately, Alex, your constant comments here suggest you were never really interested in any sort of meaningful apology. I suppose you're one of those people that get off feeling of ritheousness and want to be under constant attack from others.

The general behavior in this thread is shameful but I'm also very proud of you guys. Metafilter clustefucks are so over the top they escape the banality of more plebian clusterfucks. I suppose we'll have to frame this thread now and include it in the 'Best Of' on the wiki.
posted by nixerman at 5:36 PM PST on January 5

Punctuation does not a good writer make, philistine.

You're absolutely right. Good luck with that writing career.
posted by AlexReynolds at 5:38 PM PST on January 5

posted by keswick at 5:39 PM PST on January 5

Um, Floydd, if you're saving yourself for Esther, I have some bad news...
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:11 PM PST on January 5

Um, Sidhedevil, if you think sexy is all penis and/or vagina, I have some good news....
posted by Floydd at 5:39 PM PST on January 5

Maybe we should show Alex some tolerance. The Asshole-American has had a rough time historically.
posted by jonmc at 5:41 PM PST on January 5

matt will let this thread stand. One because he has a sense of humor. and two because he realizes that every year or so we need to go apeshit just to get it out of our system.

Which means he's going to pretend he never saw it.... Probably a smart move for all concerned.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 5:42 PM PST on January 5

WE NEED BOOBIES
posted by cheaily at 5:49 PM PST on January 5

Wednesday night and energy’s low
Looking out for a blog to go
Where they flame the right user, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Dhoyt could be that guy
Night is young and bandwidth’s high
With a bit of rhetoric, everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a fight
And when you imagine that slight...

You are the drama queen, young and sweet, you are such a scream
Drama queen, feel the heat from the MeFi scene
You can freak, you can cry, having the time of your life
Take offense, cause a scene, flame out you drama queen

You’re a teaser, you turn ’em on
Leave them Photoshopping and then you’re gone
Looking out for another, jonmc will do
You’re in the mood for a fight
And when you get them to bite

You are the drama queen!
posted by orange swan at 5:53 PM PST on January 5

shhh ... shiva kitty is getting annoyed

meow meow meow meow meow meow
posted by pyramid termite at 5:54 PM PST on January 5

Wants to know what typeface it is as well, so stop with the backlash against fff and cough up the information before I hold poor kerning against you! ;)

(ie: i am too lazy too play guess the font)
posted by squeak at 5:54 PM PST on January 5

It stumped Identifont.
posted by sciurus at 5:56 PM PST on January 5

The Metafilter thread on 9/11 was 492 comments.
posted by xammerboy at 5:58 PM PST on January 5

I believe I may attempt to marry orange swan.
posted by flashboy at 5:58 PM PST on January 5

Hi!
posted by mb01 at 6:00 PM PST on January 5

From my e-mail to fff on the subject:

The "500" is Reznor, apparently a freeware version of the cover font from NIN's "Downward Spiral". The rest is "Tw Cen MT Condensed Extra Bold" (which I take to mean "Twentieth Century MonoType...")

Can we go back to our dreaded M0B M3NTALTIY!!!11 now?
posted by Danelope at 6:00 PM PST on January 5

The Metafilter thread on 9/11 was 492 comments.

This changes everything.
posted by Danelope at 6:01 PM PST on January 5

Yes, but how many WTC towers is this thread, compared to the 9/11 thread?
posted by veronitron at 6:04 PM PST on January 5

With compliments to Steve@ for the hosting
posted by Ryvar at 6:06 PM PST on January 5

........
posted by jonmc at 6:08 PM PST on January 5

Everything changed after 01.05.2005.
posted by exlotuseater at 6:08 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:11 PM PST on January 5

It's going to be sad for all the people who join MetaFilter in the years to come, when there are injokes about this thread, but they have no idea what they mean because Matt has deleted it.

I hope somebody's mirroring it just in case, because this is truly the Best of the Web.

orange swan, that was beautiful.
posted by languagehat at 6:13 PM PST on January 5

I hope somebody's mirroring it just in case, because this is truly the Best of the Web.

I'm resaving it to my desktop every half hour or so, and if #1 nukes this great moment of MeFi History, I'll be sure to be putting it up on my site to be honored ofr all time.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:16 PM PST on January 5

Time for a group portrait:



That's Steve@linwood with the beard, languagehat in the tanktop, and wolfdaddy in the bowtie, I'm the guy with the tie on the far left. Ain't we cute?
posted by jonmc at 6:18 PM PST on January 5

I feel like I've entered the Fark Zone.
posted by pookzilla at 6:18 PM PST on January 5

pookzilla, we get tired of being all civilized and well mannered and all that happy horsehit. We need to let loose once in a while.
posted by jonmc at 6:20 PM PST on January 5

It was just an observation, not a judgement. :)
posted by pookzilla at 6:21 PM PST on January 5

*senses the mob moving towards pookzilla*
posted by eyeballkid at 6:23 PM PST on January 5

I wish I had an animated .gif to express the awesomeness of this thread.
posted by m0nm0n at 6:23 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 6:23 PM PST on January 5

gabba gabba we accept you we accept you one of us
posted by eyeballkid at 6:24 PM PST on January 5

ok, then. besides, with the level of wit around here, when we decide to get all crude and obnoxious, we do it 100 times better than Fark.
posted by jonmc at 6:24 PM PST on January 5

REMOTE LINKING FORBIDDEN.

Fucking Nazis.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:24 PM PST on January 5

AlexReynolds = matthowie's (noob) account. 0wn3d!!
posted by BigVACub at 6:27 PM PST on January 5

ok, then. besides, with the level of wit around here, when we decide to get all crude and obnoxious, we do it 100 times better than Fark.

gawd, RTFA

I complained about homophobia last week with a better headline.

[/sharp knees]
posted by 23skidoo at 6:27 PM PST on January 5

thanks steve.

Also, advice needed: should I put some jalapeno poppers in the toaster oven or am I so drunk that I'll burn the apartment down?
posted by jonmc at 6:28 PM PST on January 5

I bet when dhoyt posted this thread he had no idea it would get within spitting distance of 600 posts...

bow to the power of slackerdom bitches.
posted by Jeremy at 6:28 PM PST on January 5

got webcam?
posted by quonsar at 6:29 PM PST on January 5

I wish I had an animated .gif to express the awesomeness of this thread.

Indeed.



Who was it what done made that, by the way? Can't remember which thread it was in... Whoever it was, they are sainted and teh awesome.
posted by flashboy at 6:29 PM PST on January 5

posted by darukaru at 6:29 PM PST on January 5

I just don't know about this.
posted by greasy_skillet at 6:29 PM PST on January 5

darukaru, I'm disappointed in you, really.

I mean, why in the world is Wonder Woman's top still on?
posted by jonmc at 6:32 PM PST on January 5

Danelope -

I prefer to refer to it as the Big Gay Train Wreck.
posted by chundo at 6:34 PM PST on January 5

Which superhero would y'all eat? I bet aquaman tastes like tuna.
posted by dabitch at 6:37 PM PST on January 5

I'd eat Hawkman. He tastes like chicken.
posted by jonmc at 6:38 PM PST on January 5

We are in SO much trouble when Dad comes home.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:39 PM PST on January 5

Big Gay Train Wreck?!? I used to love those guys back in college when white funk was cool. Thems was the days.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 6:40 PM PST on January 5

Ha!
posted by jonmc at 6:41 PM PST on January 5

Can, can you do the can can?
posted by Krrrlson at 6:44 PM PST on January 5

That's the first genuinely funny thing that's been posted all day. I think I'll steal that...
posted by AlexReynolds at 6:48 PM PST on January 5

I just tried to drink a beer and missed my mouth.

Life is beautiful.
posted by jonmc at 6:49 PM PST on January 5

posted by Hankins at 6:52 PM PST on January 5

68 MetaFilter user(s) link to this user.

4 MetaFilter user(s) link to this user.

looks like one of us is getting his message across better than the other.

Jesus, jonmc, why not just whip out your cocks and a ruler and be done with it.

I'm really confused at this point- is the point of this thread to tell AlexReynolds he's overreacting, or is it to deliberately tease AlexReynolds so he'll overreact?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:53 PM PST on January 5

That's the first genuinely funny thing that's been posted all day.

(That wasn't followed by "posted by AlexReynolds at...")
posted by eyeballkid at 6:53 PM PST on January 5

I miss your mouth too, jon.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:54 PM PST on January 5

I hope somebody's mirroring it just in case, because this is truly the Best of the Web.

Which means, logically, somebody should make an FPP to the blue...
posted by bugbread at 6:54 PM PST on January 5

Metafilter: Better than the best bench-clearing Hockey fight.
posted by Fupped Duck at 6:54 PM PST on January 5

I'm really confused at this point- is the point of this thread to tell AlexReynolds he's overreacting, or is it to deliberately tease AlexReynolds so he'll overreact?

500+ comments, and you can't figure it out yet? You silly boy.
posted by angry modem at 6:54 PM PST on January 5

I'm really confused at this point- is the point of this thread to tell AlexReynolds he's overreacting, or is it to deliberately tease AlexReynolds so he'll overreact?

At this point: yes.
posted by eyeballkid at 6:55 PM PST on January 5

I'm really confused at this point- is the point of this thread to tell AlexReynolds he's overreacting, or is it to deliberately tease AlexReynolds so he'll overreact?

It started as the former, and ended in the latter, though the actual crossover point varies from person to person.
posted by bugbread at 6:55 PM PST on January 5

XQUZPHYR, for once in your life loosen your sphincter and enjoy yourself please. Or you could walk off in a snit, and I think I speak for most of us when I say i honestly wouldn't think any less of you.

And alex reaped what he sowed. At this point the rest of us are just having some fun, you gonna join in or just whine?
posted by jonmc at 6:56 PM PST on January 5

11629 taunts with your measly 600 post effort.
posted by sequential at 6:56 PM PST on January 5

9622 makes 11629 its bitch.
posted by eyeballkid at 6:59 PM PST on January 5

Krrrlson that's hilarious
posted by Tarrama at 6:59 PM PST on January 5

Did someone say Alex is Welsh? He'll be the only gay in the village, then

/BritJoke
posted by bonaldi at 7:00 PM PST on January 5

Err.... 11629 taunts you and your measily 600 comment effort.
posted by sequential at 7:01 PM PST on January 5

wow.. just wow.

I laughed, i cried, i ate spaghetti. I came back.

>600 comments. Have you people no respect for those of us using a 28.8 modem? Bandwidth bigotry?

*saved this thread*
posted by reflecked at 7:05 PM PST on January 5

I just realized that our drama queen isn't a drama queen at all: he's a drama whore! That is why he persists!

Let's by him a tube of Drama Queen lip gloss. Or lip balm. Or bumper sticker (or this one).

And then he'll finally be ready for his prom.

Though, again, drama whore is more apropos.

---

People who've made the silly argument that since dhoyt didn't "mean" anything it's ok for him to use slurs are wrong.

What a niggardly sentiment.

The general behavior in this thread is shameful but I'm also very proud of you guys.

The masochist cries "Beat me! Beat me!" To deny him his desire would be most cruel.

From my e-mail to fff on the subject...

Oops. I suppose I should check that account more than bi-annually, eh?
posted by five fresh fish at 7:08 PM PST on January 5

And alex reaped what he sowed. At this point the rest of us are just having some fun, you gonna join in or just whine?

So how's that great writing career coming along? You'll never get published, sitting in front of a computer screen.
posted by AlexReynolds at 7:10 PM PST on January 5

lip balm, i mean. huh.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:11 PM PST on January 5

wow.. just wow.

I laughed, i cried, i ate spaghetti. I came back.

>600 comments. Have you people no respect for those using a 28.8 modem? Bandwidth bigotry?

*saved this thread*
posted by reflecked at 7:13 PM PST on January 5

So how's that great writing career coming along? You'll never get published, sitting in front of a computer screen.

Wow! What a riposte! We are truly in the presence of a master baiter!
posted by five fresh fish at 7:13 PM PST on January 5

I could care less about being published alex, I was born with a defective ambition gland. But the fact that more people cite me as a "muse," than you should tell you something.

And you know what? If you, at the top of this thread had said "You know what, me and dhoyt let this stupid little spat get out of hand, sorry bout that," you'd be here swapping jokes with the rest of us instead of brooding and bitching. But that would've been too easy for you, you'd rather stay nailed to your cross.
posted by jonmc at 7:14 PM PST on January 5

posted by pyramid termite at 7:16 PM PST on January 5

This thread was worth it for this juxtaposition alone:

This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by Floydd at 4:42 PM PST on January 5

and my very feminine vagina
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:43 PM PST on January 5
posted by kindall at 7:19 PM PST on January 5

I'm sure someone's posted that it's past 600 now. But on dialup this thread takes forever to load. So right now I'm about four posts below Stallown3d!1

Hitting "preview" button ... clock is 10:09. ... Hitting "post" ... clock is 10:18.

Anyway, "congrats" on the 600+ posts.

On preview: Flecked and I are in the same boat
posted by Alt F4 at 7:20 PM PST on January 5

holy shit

everything is coming together now, I can almost see it!
posted by Jeremy at 7:23 PM PST on January 5

Did someone say Alex is Welsh? He'll be the only gay in the village, then

Daffyd.
posted by Tarrama at 7:24 PM PST on January 5

How does a collections of individuals, who happen to share a similar opinion, clearly arrived at by their own volition, constitute a mob?
posted by juiceCake at 7:26 PM PST on January 5

AlexReynolds, you're the dog now man.

[note fff: thanks for the lip balm link.]
posted by zpousman at 7:27 PM PST on January 5

Alex, let me break it down for you sparky. I think WolfDaddy is one of the wittiest human beings I've ever encountered and a true man's man, dash_slot is old buddy, amberglow is a third degree mensch, dirtynumbangelboy is becoming my favorite n00b.

I just don't like you. And they don't seem to either. Maybe you should ask yourself why.
posted by jonmc at 7:28 PM PST on January 5

Ok we're going a little overboard here.
posted by xmutex at 7:30 PM PST on January 5

Fuck, just when I get into the shitpool, the fucking instigator goes and gets a concience. And now I'm all covered in shit.
posted by zpousman at 7:34 PM PST on January 5

posted by poopy at 7:35 PM PST on January 5

I hereby proclaim that I, Five Fresh Fish, did independently decide, based solely on the writing of one AlexReynolds, that AlexReynolds is a ...

Oh, bugger it. If he needs to think it's mob mentality, let him. He's shown no inclination to actually think, so nothing I write is likely to change his mind.

Let's all head over to Just Letters and spell stuff. Someone catch a screenshot, k?
posted by five fresh fish at 7:43 PM PST on January 5

Q: Is AlexReynolds a homosexual?
A: No. He's just gay.
posted by naxosaxur at 7:48 PM PST on January 5

Hey, my name's Dave, this is my friend Billy. We brought some beers so...
posted by Bdave at 7:48 PM PST on January 5

This sure takes the heat off davy, doesn't it?
posted by LarryC at 7:49 PM PST on January 5

I keep thinking of Nathan Barley for some reason (address has the word "cunt" in it. Possibly NSFW).
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:52 PM PST on January 5

Your mom goes to college.
posted by Sir Mildred Pierce at 7:53 PM PST on January 5

"Theme From An Imaginary Western" is a great song to listen to drunk. Just thought I'd let you know.
posted by jonmc at 7:54 PM PST on January 5

Jesus. 625 Comments. And I read every single one. Can I have a T-Shirt?
posted by Bdave at 7:55 PM PST on January 5

posted by chundo at 7:56 PM PST on January 5

You know when i first saw this thread last night, i knew this was going to be something special.
posted by Dreamghost at 7:57 PM PST on January 5

These were the two women who made me realize I was a heterosexual.

Okay, let's flip this puppy over for a moment. For me, Shaun Cassidy and Paul Stanley (that rhinestone cup he wore, don'tcha know) made me realize I was gay. Oh, and Doctor Fate. For the helmet, and the color scheme.

Apropos of nothing but balls, the funniest bathroom graffiti I ever read was thus:

BALLS!
BIG HAIRY BONERS!
I JUST JIZZED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, this is the best MetaTalk thread ever. It just keeps getting funnier. Or I keep taking more Soma. Something.

and stop wuvving me so much jonmc! I hate to be complimented. It's the oversensitive homosexual in me. And I wish he'd fucking cum already and go home.
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:57 PM PST on January 5

Hey, has anyone managed to find a complete version of Cremaster 3 on a P2P network? There's complete versions of the other four floating about, but I can only find the segment he released on DVD for the 3rd one.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:58 PM PST on January 5

You guys type too fast.

On Preview: Give chundo the shirt for he wins again.
posted by Bdave at 7:58 PM PST on January 5

OK, Family Guy is on. I'll be back in half an hour.

and stop wuvving me so much jonmc! I hate to be complimented. It's the oversensitive homosexual in me.

hey, you ever come to NYC, you're absoulutely welcome to drink with me, vidiot and chicobangs at the local watering hole , brother.

And the best bathroom grafittie I ever read said:

"God is Love. Love Is Blind. Therefore ray Charles is God."
posted by jonmc at 8:00 PM PST on January 5

WolfDaddy...

Paul Stanley?

SAY IT AIN'T SO!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:04 PM PST on January 5

But the fact that more people cite me as a "muse," than you should tell you something.

As I glance over the faces in the mob, it tells me that I'm glad I have words down on paper. Thanks for reminding me of that. (No, really, thank you, jonmc.)
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:04 PM PST on January 5

Thanks, sweetie, you know I'll take you up on it, and of course the reverse is true if you ever find yourself in Houston.

We'll never make 666.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:05 PM PST on January 5

Holy christ fucking hell.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 8:05 PM PST on January 5

I find WolfDaddy's crush on Paul Stanley to be perfectly appropriate, since Paul Stanley is solely responsible for making me realize that I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

And then Jenny Shimizu made me realize that the woman's body still had a say in it, too. rawrr.
posted by bedhead at 8:09 PM PST on January 5

This may be of interest to you, alex. seek help.

Also, the green apple flavor of Extreme Jell-O is quite tasty. So is Very vanilla NesQuik.
posted by jonmc at 8:09 PM PST on January 5

Family Guy is on? As in, a new season of Family Guy? Fuckin' eh!
posted by five fresh fish at 8:10 PM PST on January 5

I really want the 666th comment. This has been going since like, yesterday.
posted by Bdave at 8:11 PM PST on January 5

He's not in love with himself, jon, he's in love with you! [cue Home Alone pose]
posted by five fresh fish at 8:12 PM PST on January 5

I saw my first episode of Family Guy the other day. Man it was funny. He said "make like a Siamese twin, and split. And then one of you dies."

That's funny.
posted by Bdave at 8:13 PM PST on January 5

I noticed AlexReynolds joined on November 18, 2004. As did I and a bunch of other people. Aren't all you people glad Matt opened signups? Let's hear it for the class of 11/18/04!

This thread is unfuckingbelieveable. I'm glad I got see it (in between working for 8 hours, taking a shit, and eating lunch and dinner)
posted by Marxchivist at 8:14 PM PST on January 5

who is willing to help rip the nails out of Alex's cross to help him down?
posted by Hands of Manos at 8:14 PM PST on January 5

actually, reruns on Cartoon Network, fff, but it's the one where Brian and Stewie get glued together. That's a good one.

He's not in love with himself, jon, he's in love with you!

ahhh, don't hate me cause I'm beautiful...
posted by jonmc at 8:15 PM PST on January 5

And Crash, you'd prefer I say Tommy Shaw (what a gay picture)? All right, all right, I confess, I also had a crush on Rob Halford. And Sam J. Jones. And Dan Pastorini. I'm a fucking WHORE okay? There are you fucking HAPPY?

*runs away sobbing*
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:15 PM PST on January 5

I thank AlexReynolds for helping us construct this comment tower of Babel. Hopefully he can continue posting in righteous denial and help us get this baby all the way up to God Almighty! (#1 help us...)
posted by theFlyingSquirrel at 8:15 PM PST on January 5

What about James Hetfield, wolfie?
posted by jonmc at 8:18 PM PST on January 5

Tommy Shaw, gay. Halford, gay. Pastorini...??? Who the hell is he?

Jones...Holy crap was he gay.

PAUL STANLEY?

Heresy, sir. Heresy.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:19 PM PST on January 5

And alex reaped what he sowed. At this point the rest of us are just having some fun, you gonna join in or just whine?

Spoken like a true fraternity gang-rape. Boy, that bitch really was asking for it, wasn't she? You hitting this, or are you some kind of pussy?

I think Alex dug his own grave here and ended up getting more stupid gay jokes thrown at him as a result of feigning outrage at one that never actually existed. But man, did that comment of yours just scare the hell out of me.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:19 PM PST on January 5

Holy shit, I think three minutes went by without a comment, pick it up folks...
posted by Marxchivist at 8:20 PM PST on January 5

Jonmc: champion of the underdog.
posted by dydecker at 8:24 PM PST on January 5

jonmc, I hate Metallica. Not for their music, but their hypocrisy. I can't ever fantasize about fucking a hypocrite. So Alex is safe.

Crash, given the 70s and the way KISS was outlandish even for THAT time period you CANNOT tell me that Paul didn't stick his dick into the coke bowl and had a guy lick it off. C'mon, that's just what people DID back in those days.

Lastly, will someone please commemorate this in the only way it can be done? A flash animation with:

mobber mobber mobber mobber mobber mobber (etc.)
COCK! BUCKET!
(repeat)
and for the bridge:
My very feminine vagina!
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:25 PM PST on January 5

Oh, and Dan Pastorini was once the QB for the Houston (heh) Oilers ... and posed nude for Playgirl back in the day. Shower nozzle masturbation fantasies for weeks, dude.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:27 PM PST on January 5

Spoken like a true fraternity gang-rape. Boy, that bitch really was asking for it, wasn't she? You hitting this, or are you some kind of pussy?

I used to think you were a self-righteous putz. Now I'm sure. Did you think that up all by yourself or did your mommy help you?

As you said yourself, alex dug his own grave here. The rest of this thread is the rest of MeFi trading jokes with eachother. I invited you to join in out of a spirit of cameradreie. You would rather polish your halo and make love to your ego. Have fun.

dydecker: I'm champion of the sane over the insane, the smart over the stupid. Being a member of an oppressed minority does not exempt one from the possibility of being an asshole. But feel free to pontificate if it makes you feel better. i bet they taught you taht in self-esttem class.
posted by jonmc at 8:28 PM PST on January 5

posted by keswick at 8:28 PM PST on January 5

This may be of interest to you, alex. seek help.

Jonmc, don't start throwing around links to clinical terminology like you know what you're talking about. Your attempt to compare dick sizes by using list contacts was pathetic enough.
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:31 PM PST on January 5

go to sleep dude.
posted by puke & cry at 8:32 PM PST on January 5

I used to think you were a self-righteous putz. Now I'm sure. Did you think that up all by yourself or did your mommy help you?

(sniffles)

keswick, for some reason I try to think of something funnier than an exploding giant manatee, and I can't. Bravo.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:33 PM PST on January 5

Your attempt to compare dick sizes by using list contacts was pathetic enough.

Absolutely! Rulers are much easier to use... (but a tape measure will work in a pinch)

keswick: that hit the spot.
posted by theFlyingSquirrel at 8:34 PM PST on January 5

Alex, tell jonmc you'll burn him in his tank ... then offer to cut your hand off to prove just how tenacious you are in the face of near univeral opposition and criticism. It's worked before. Trust me.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:34 PM PST on January 5

Can you find the message?
posted by mzurer at 8:34 PM PST on January 5

.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 8:34 PM PST on January 5

posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 8:34 PM PST on January 5

Family Guy: ah, poop.

BTW, jon, you don't look pretty so much as plastered.

XQwhatever: I, for one, independently and without malice aforethought tried to give Alex a clue. It didn't work. His denial is wider and deeper than the great river, matched only by his skills at making himself look bad.

This wasn't gang-rape by any stretch of the imagination: no asses were torn in the process. This was a few dozen people deciding that an attention-whoring drama queen should be given the encouragement he so richly desires.

Humourless people ought not hang around MetaFilter.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:35 PM PST on January 5

You just don't know when to quit do you? Should we add masochism to the diagnosis?

But, jeez, massa, that fancy talk in dat deh DSM is fo you smaht fo'k. I's just too dumb to figga it out.


Your attempt to compare dick sizes by using list contacts was pathetic enough.

Absolutely! Rulers are much easier to use... (but a tape measure will work in a pinch)


I use an odometer, myself, but whatever works for you. There's a microscope handy if you need one, alex.
posted by jonmc at 8:35 PM PST on January 5

Nice try Steve ;-)
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:37 PM PST on January 5

Spoken like a true fraternity gang-rape. Boy, that bitch really was asking for it, wasn't she? You hitting this, or are you some kind of pussy?

Surely you're not comparing all this sort-of-amusing bullshit to a gang-rape?
posted by JeffL at 8:37 PM PST on January 5

What do you call an imbecile who comes back for a beating again and again and again?
posted by five fresh fish at 8:39 PM PST on January 5

I use an odometer, myself, but whatever works for you. There's a microscope handy if you need one, alex.

Small dick jokes are the last refuge of the unfunny. Thanks, anyway.

So when do we get to see your next great novel on MeFi, you big, bad writer, you? I can't wait to see your amazing work, since you're such hot shit.
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:40 PM PST on January 5

posted by quonsar at 8:45 PM PST on January 5

Does this count as a public flame-out if AlexReynolds isn't going away?
posted by availablelight at 8:45 PM PST on January 5

I think this thread marks some sort of turning point, some watershed. Not sure why...I just want it never to end. I guess I got The Mob.
posted by icetaco at 8:46 PM PST on January 5

I understand that riding the short bus to school made you bitter, but don't take it out on me.

I'm not a novelist, Alex, but whose mefi posts have him being torn apart by a "mob," and whose are, generally speaking, regarded as entertaining?

I manage to make my points without pissing off the known universe. Can you say the same?
posted by jonmc at 8:48 PM PST on January 5

Summary, for folks on dialup:


Dude1: Sorry, Dude2.
Dude2: Yeah, right.
Dude3: Dude1, you don't need to apologize.
Guy4: *agrees with Dude3*
Guy5: *gross overexaggeration to point out the lack of need of an apology*
Dude2: Harumph.
Guy6: Harumph? Harumph you, dude2.
Gaggles of Jokesters: *posting of random images*
Society for Commenting on Ridiculousness: Poems, Haikus and bizarre catch phrases
Gaggles of Jokesters: *posting of random images that make those other images seem downright normal*
Dude2: Harumph me? No, harumph you.
Guy 6: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrepectful. Shut up bitch, go fix me turkey pot pie.
Dude2: But Guy6, what about you?
Guy6: Fuck you.
Dude2: No, Guy6, what about YOU?
Guy6: Fuck you.
Dude2: NO, GUY6, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Dude11: Here's a pic of an exploding manatee.
posted by 23skidoo at 8:49 PM PST on January 5

I hear chanting. It's getting louder.
posted by Bdave at 8:52 PM PST on January 5

Surely you're not comparing all this sort-of-amusing bullshit to a gang-rape?

No, only the comment. Like I said, that line just frightened me in similarity to the scene in a half-dozen bad after-school specials. Of course, I know now that it was merely my being a self-righteous putz, according to the guy who bragged about his user links and how everyone loves him and declared himself the "champion of truth" or some shit like that shortly after alerting me that I have ego issues. He offered me his friendship, and I refused. Now I'll find a pony head in my bed. I also expect further insults that involve being a poopyhead.

Alex: seriously. Just stop. You dug more than a grave here; you dug a fucking tunnel to China. You're never going to win this petty fight with jonmc because he's just as convinced about his superiority to you as you are to him. You won't win against quonsar because, frankly, he's funnier than everyone else, and you won't win against a lot of other users because, frankly, they're more clever than you.

If I actually gave a shit about jonmc throwing a treasure trove of retard and dick size jokes that clearly put Oscar Wilde to shame, I'd probably feel as pissed off and silly as you do now. You're learning in a very hard way what happens when you actually care that a complete stranger on the internet doesn't like you.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:56 PM PST on January 5

What do you call an imbecile who comes back for a beating again and again and again?

I guess we'll call him FFFish, because here I am again, stupidly trying to use the cluestick on the clueless. Sigh.

Small dick jokes are the last refuge of the unfunny. Thanks, anyway.

So when do we get to see your next great novel on MeFi, you big, bad writer, you? I can't wait to see your amazing work, since you're such hot shit.
posted by AlexReynolds at 8:40 PM PST on January 5

The problem at this point, Alex, is two-fold:

No one cares what you say any more.

You are not funny.

As a result your attempts at witticism and criticism fall flat on their face. Not a single soul is laughing at your "small dick" comment, and jonmc isn't going to take offence to your "big bad writer" comment.

Your best option at this point is to give up on the AlexReynolds alias. You will probably never again be treated as someone who has something worthwhile to say and you will always be dogged by this debacle.

The skit is over. Pony-up five bucks and try again.

posted by five fresh fish at 8:57 PM PST on January 5

You fuckers are sick.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:59 PM PST on January 5

Go fuck an insect.


posted by dhoyt at 9:01 PM PST on January 5

Batman is hitting on Space Twin Jason?
posted by orange clock at 9:01 PM PST on January 5

dhoyt, that's JUST WRONG.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:02 PM PST on January 5

The block image feature of firefox is hard at work in this thread. Hard at work.
posted by orange clock at 9:03 PM PST on January 5

Of course, I know now that it was merely my being a self-righteous putz, according to the guy who bragged about his user links and how everyone loves him and declared himself the "champion of truth" or some shit like that shortly after alerting me that I have ego issues. He offered me his friendship, and I refused. Now I'll find a pony head in my bed. I also expect further insults that involve being a poopyhead.

Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. But the truth is, it's a rare comment from you that dosen't involve some sermon from Mt. Olympus about how evil and insensitive and ignorant we all are compared to you. Most of the time, I'm quite happy to ignore you, but if someone calls you on something, you quite frankly never let it go. I'd love to palaver all night, but I have...a life. and I have to work inthe morning. So goodnight.
posted by jonmc at 9:05 PM PST on January 5

MetaFilter: Pony-Up Five Bucks and Try Again.
posted by availablelight at 9:06 PM PST on January 5

Duuuude! I leave the thread for a while and look what happens!
posted by Doohickie at 9:07 PM PST on January 5

Sweet dreams. You've had quite an adventure today.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:10 PM PST on January 5

A+++ CLUSTERFUCK!!!! WOULD PILE-ON AGAIN!!!!
posted by mzurer at 9:11 PM PST on January 5

how this fuck did i, a big gay drama queen, miss this thread?

/agony
posted by moonbird at 9:12 PM PST on January 5

I can stop reading this any time I want.
posted by Termite at 9:12 PM PST on January 5

The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
posted by geekyguy at 9:13 PM PST on January 5

I'm waiting for the punchline to be that AlexReynolds is just a second account dhoyt shelled out five bucks for.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:14 PM PST on January 5

XQUZYPHYR, you're wait was over some time ago, no?
posted by juiceCake at 9:17 PM PST on January 5

the meta has been meta'd, apparently
posted by moonbird at 9:19 PM PST on January 5

Dude, we've all been called out in Metatalk
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 9:20 PM PST on January 5

posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:20 PM PST on January 5

So many things in this thread have gotten my attention...and continue to do so.
posted by juiceCake at 9:22 PM PST on January 5

Um. So I saw the crowd and the torches and came over. What’s going on?
posted by arse_hat at 9:23 PM PST on January 5

I just had to post here to prove that I was here for the Great MeTa Flameout of 2005.

Sortof like taking a picture at Woodstock to prove that you were really there...
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 9:23 PM PST on January 5

I'm waiting for the punchline to be that AlexReynolds is just a second account dhoyt shelled out five bucks for.

Unfortunately, dhoyt hardly has five extra bucks to his name these days. Reading some of the truly hilarious contributions to this thread, though, I'd love to buy every one of you a cold Stella, but as it stands, I'd have to buy just one beer for all 20,000 users and we'd each take tiny, gay little sips.
posted by dhoyt at 9:25 PM PST on January 5

Whoops, sorry, thought I was on Fark for a second. My bad!
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 9:26 PM PST on January 5

dhoyt, I'm kind of surprised you keep posting.
posted by atchafalaya at 9:28 PM PST on January 5

Do not take the Brown Acid.
posted by Bdave at 9:29 PM PST on January 5

Sort of like taking a picture at Woodstock to prove that you were really there...

Saying AlexReynolds to your fellow local Mefi'ers will have some sort of significance now won't it? The nature and meaning of the term will most likely vary, particularly if you say it to Alex himself, in which case a smile and a handshake are in order.
posted by juiceCake at 9:29 PM PST on January 5

I would paypal dhoyt $5 for another thread like this one.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:32 PM PST on January 5

juiceCake: At least in polite company, I think Al*xR*yn*lds would be more appropriate.
posted by justin at 9:35 PM PST on January 5

dhoyt, I'm kind of surprised you keep posting.

?

Like everyone else here, I'm fascinated/perplexed/amused/horrified how the thread has evolved--why shouldn't I contribute?

Plus I needed something to do while I brushed my teeth.
posted by dhoyt at 9:37 PM PST on January 5

how this fuck did i, a big gay drama queen, miss this thread?

/agony

I know, Moon-ie, me too. When I left the house this morning and this thing had already gotten to 100+ comments, I actually lamented, "too bad I let that one get past its prime without commenting." Who knew?
posted by ChrisTN at 9:46 PM PST on January 5

The defect in that one is bleach.
posted by keli at 9:50 PM PST on January 5

I like this thread. Let's do it again!
posted by event at 9:51 PM PST on January 5

Crash, you look positively HOT in that bikini, you filthy whore. Now what were we talking about?

There's now a call to close the thread! NOOOOO! We must hit the magic 1000 comments because then I think the space aliens will come back for Alex. To take him back to Planet DramaQueenania.

Go, go, gadget MeFi!!!! The thread is alive and must be fed, give it your thoughts.

ALL YOUR COMMENTS ARE BELONG TO US!
posted by fenriq at 9:52 PM PST on January 5

This'll have hit 1000 by the time I wake up tomorrow, won't it?

On preview: Apparently so.
posted by Ruki at 9:54 PM PST on January 5

well I started at the top and just reached the bottom , work today has passed me by in a vitriol fuelled haze.

I though about diving in with "I choose to be intolerant can you tolerate that" nope so much fluid has passed under the bridge since the start...
The only gay in the village reference came and went thanks bonaldi and Tarrama so no plucking the britcom connection

*sighs* This is all to much. I have a headache and need a lie down.

Sleep well everyone, I'll wake up in the morning and it'll all be a dream...there's no place like home there's no place like home
posted by doogyrev at 9:57 PM PST on January 5

I think I'm going to put on some sad music and read it from the top again, just to recapture the magic.

Besides, South Park is a rerun tonight.
posted by fenriq at 10:01 PM PST on January 5

I started an 800-post thread on another site, and then a 400-post follow-up thread. I wonder if Alex & dhoyt can do the same? I'm just givin' ya something to shoot for.
posted by Doohickie at 10:05 PM PST on January 5

Oh man! This thread is gold. It's fucking abrosia with honey stirred in, served to me in the holy grail by a naked sex fairy.

First jonmc says "your" instead of "you're" while bragging about what a good writer he is. When called on it, he resorts to trumpeting the number of users who link to him. Because he uh... couldn't come up with jack shit to say apparently. Great writing, there, indeed. Great fucking Mothra-sized comedy gold writing!

Desktop computer: $800

MetaFilter membership: $5

Watching jonmc try to shit in his own hand so as to fling it, only to realize too late he's forgotten to take his pants off first: priceless.
posted by scarabic at 10:06 PM PST on January 5

posted by keswick at 10:06 PM PST on January 5

Oh, keswick.... you're killin' me!
posted by Doohickie at 10:08 PM PST on January 5

MetaTalk: It's like an HO scale model Kristallnacht.

Think about this, everyone: Google loves MetaFilter. This is going to be in the top 10 for "AlexReynolds soon, where it will stay for a loooooong time.
posted by me3dia at 10:08 PM PST on January 5